Dark Secrets, Big Lies |Toni Topaz|

【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ６】

Making my way back to the Wyrm I couldn't help but think about the argument I just had with my brother. It had always bothered me that Jug always took my mom's side on everything. Me on the other hand I always seemed to take my dad's. Of course, I hated the decisions he made, but being in his position now leading the younger Serpents I can see why he did what he did. But unlike my dad, I did my best to keep everything the younger Serpents did as legit as possible.

I hated the way we were looked down on, I wanted to give the younger Serpents every opportunity to be better than our parents. I had so much on my shoulders running the Wyrm since it wasn't a Serpent owned business it's been in the Jones family for generations.

 I wanted to liven up the place still keep it as a Serpent watering hole if you will but to be able to have non-Serpents come and enjoy a beer and some food if they passed through the Southside. Running my own business with working on cars and bikes, and making sure I chose the best of the best of these young serpent recruits we had. Initiation week was just a few weeks away so I was glad I could have a little breather once all of that was said and done.

I pulled up to the Wyrm and parked my bike in my parking space saved specifically for me and made my way inside when I hear an older man who frequents the bar calls out to me. 

"Hurricane looking mighty fine today, almost good enough to eat if you know what I mean. Come sit on daddy's lap and let me show you how I can make you feel good." He says as he grabs me by my waist. 

"Butcher, how many times do I have to tell you I don't really swing that way? Plus you're old enough to be my grandpa you sick old bastard. I've told you time and time again to keep your perverted little comments to yourself you're constantly making dumb ass comments to the girls that come in and out of here it makes them uncomfortable and this shit is getting old. Say something like that again and you're banned from coming back in here." I say already annoyed from today's events.

"You can't kick me out of here, who do you think you are you little bitch?!" He says in an angry tone. Just then I see Kato and Duke our newest recruits walk-up just behind Butchers view ready to inflict damage. I give them a sign to stand down and to walk away. 

"You know who the fuck I am, while my dad is gone that leaves me in charge of this place. I make the rules don't fucking like it you can get your old ass up and walk the fuck out of here." I say beyond pissed off.

As Butcher gets his things together I can see the older serpents sitting at the bar chuckling and they give me head nods. Butcher walks out I can hear him saying things about me under his breath and that takes me to a whole new level of annoyed. 

"You know what Butcher if you have something to say grow a pair and speak the fuck up. Don't be a little bitch and say things under your breath I'm a big girl I can take it. And just for all that you're no longer welcomed here if I see you even step foot in my parking lot you're gonna have major fucking issues."

I tell him with my arms crossed he looks at me with anger but doesn't say anything besides giving me the middle finger. "Yeah yeah shove it up your ass old man!" I yell as everyone in the bar begins clapping and whistling.

 "Alright everyone shows over. Yo Rain how about a round for everyone on the house? Start pouring em'." I yell and the place goes up in cheers once again.

I find Toni, Fangs, Sweet Pea, Kato, Duke, and a new female recruit Alexa who we just call by her last name Love in the back of the bar in the corner where our pool table is. Everyone knows not to dare set up shop in the corner as that's where we always play. I give everyone our serpent handshake and throw back the shot I'm given by Rain. Toni looks at me with a sad look on her face as she walks over to me grabbing my hand and leading me up the stairs to my office.

"J are you ok?" She asks. I take a deep breath and begin talking "I'm just fucking drained T, like physically and emotionally. This summer has kicked my ass, Jug and I just got into an argument, now again with that old asshole I just kicked out. I hate being a bitch all the time but look at what happens the minute I try to lay off the attitude." I say looking at the ground. 

Toni grabs my head with her hands bringing me to look at her in the eye "I know J, I know you aren't like this. You've taken on a lot lately all you have to do is ask the boys and me for help you know we're willing to do whatever we can to help. But you can't just bottle everything up because look at the outcome and I know what happened down there could have gotten a lot worse."

I know everything Toni says is true, I do bottle my feelings up I hate looking weak or even begin to look like I can't handle things on my own. "You're right boo, you're always right. Can you stay over tonight? We need to catch up on things I could use a girl's night." I ask Toni she smiles at me. "Of course J I'd love that, how about we hang out here for a little bit then we can stop and grab some Chinese and go back to your house. Sound good?" 

I give her a hug "sounds perfect boo let's go see what those dorks are up to downstairs." A few hours later and I'm zoned off again just thinking about all of the day's drama when Pea asks me to go take a walk with him before Toni and I leave. 

"So J, when are you finally going to woman up and tell Toni you like her?" He says out of nowhere. "Wha-what the hell are you talking about Pea?" I say shocked.

 "Come on J we've known each other since we were six, we even dated off and on, on the DL for over a year I know you. And I know you have more than friendly feelings for Toni. You look at her in a way you never looked at anyone else before." He says with a hurt look on his face.

It was true Sweet Pea and I had a secret off and on relationship two years ago. I had undeniable feelings for Toni, but of course, I had feelings for Pea as well that's why we dated for so long. That relationship I wanted to ourselves everyone knows everything around here and I wanted a piece of something to myself for once.

 "Hey Pea look at me," I say grabbing him by the arm. "You know I've never regretted dating you right? You were my first everything. My first real crush, my first kiss, my first serious relationship, fuck you even took my virginity. Even though you hoe around now you never treated me like those girls. You've always shown me respect, you respected my wishes to never tell anyone about us, you respected my body. So don't ever think that what's gone on between us I regret or never wanted. Because if I'm being honest with you Pea I'm still attracted to you that hasn't changed." I explain to him.

"I didn't think you felt the same, but J the feeling is mutual. It just kills me to know how much you love her and you haven't told her. You deserve to be happy that's all I've ever wanted for you. I know she feels the same because you idiots don't know how to hide your feelings so well. But if you ever need anything and I mean anything I'm always here for you. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to, late-night booty call. I'm your guy." He says as he's wrapping his arms around my shoulders. 

"Just when I thought you were being sentimental you had to throw in the sex offer," I say as I hit him in the stomach. "Yeah Jade, day or night that offer is always on the table." He says while laughing. "Alright Pea I'll keep that in mind. Let's go inside you idiot."