“Lance open this door now! I know you’re in there” I banged on the room door. I don’t know when I decided to come to Lance’s hotel but after that stunt he pulled last night I was furious! Lance opened the door slightly and I pushed my way inside. “Kendra what…” he started but I cut him off “what the fuck was that about last night?” I yelled.
Lance closed the hotel door and stood there looking at me with an amused smile, he wore nothing but white basketball shorts. “How did you know I was here?” he asked. “I figured you would stay at the same hotel as last time, so I asked the front desk. But stop changing the subject, what the hell Lance?” he sighed and walked to the messy bed and took a seat. He placed his head in both hands and grunted “I don’t know Ken.” “No Lance don’t give me that. Why did you do that last night?” I asked more calmly now. He looked up at me “Ken I hate seeing you with him.”
I sighed and sat on the bed next to him, “that’s not your decision, you left me remember” I said. “I know he said sounding defeated “it’s just…” “It’s just what?” I said looking at him. He had his head down again and refused to look at me. Lance was never the type to avoid a conversation especially one like this. I touched his arm and he flinched, “Lance?” I said quietly reaching for his arm again but this time he didn’t move away. “Yes?” he finally answered and this time he did look at me and my heart broke.
Lance had tears streaming down his face and he truly looked defeated. I moved closer to him and wiped the tears off his face “Please talk to me” I begged him.
“Kendra just go ok, go to your boyfriend I’ll leave you alone.” I was genuinely confused “Lance I am not going anywhere, talk to me.” “Look” he said looking at me with sad eyes “I get it.” “What do you get?” I asked not sure what he was referring to. “I fucked up” he said. I opened my mouth to speak but he shook his head “no Ken I fucked up. After all this time I just never thought you would actually move on. I know I hurt you too many times to count but I really do love you. Please tell me you know that?” his eyes pleaded. “I know” was all I said and he continued to speak.
“When we stopped talking I thought it was for the best, my feelings for you were too strong and I know I needed to back off so in a weird way I was kind of relieved when you broke things off with me. But the more time that passed, the more I couldn’t get you off my mind and that’s when I knew I had to get you back and this time I was going to do it right. Look Kendra I never expected to come here and find you and Chris together, it broke my heart. I actually lost you but then you agreed to see me and that night you came back to my hotel room I thought yes I have my baby back. But I see how he looks at you and how you look at him, you really do love him don’t you?” he asked. I sighed “yes but I love you too Lance.”
He smiled a weak smile “I know you do. But I also know if I treated you right the first time we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I know that I would be the only one you love.” Tears started falling down his face again and my chest tightened, I’ve never seen Lance so vulnerable and hurt. “Baby” I started but I couldn’t think of any words to say to him, because the truth is he was right. Lance grabbed my hand kneeled on the floor “Kendra I am so sorry” he said. “It’s ok Lance” I started but he wasn’t done.
“No please let me do this” he said and I nodded. “I am truly sorry. I’m sorry for last night and I’m sorry for the past two years. Baby all I ever wanted was to make you happy but I’ve always sucked at doing that.” I smiled and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Ken I know nothing I say will change all the things that I’ve done to hurt you but I will spend my life trying to make it up to you if you want. I’ll do whatever you want” he said looking at me.
I sighed “I don’t know what to say.” “Say you forgive me?” he asked. I nodded again “Yes I forgive you.”
He stood up and smiled. “Damn I’m such a little bitch” he said wiping his face. I laughed “no you’re not, I’m glad you told me all this.”
“Ken another thing” he said picking up a shirt from the bed and putting over his head “I know you’re with Chris, as much as I hate it I’ll respect it. I’ll back off ok? I’m going back to Tampa tomorrow night.” My heart skipped, this is why I came here I wanted to tell Lance to leave me alone. So why was my heart hurting?
“Are you coming back?” was all I managed to say. He smiled and shook his head “I don’t think so, it’s too hard to see you knowing you belong to someone else and that you’re in love.” I didn’t know I was crying until Lanced reached down and wiped my face “I still love you” he said. I sobbed “I love you too.”
I came here with the intention of cursing Lance out for last night, I was not ready for everything that just happened. There’s no way I would be going to Chris’s apartment after this. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text “Gotta run some errands, I’ll come over tonight.” Chris texted back a few seconds later “K babe. See you after practice.”
Lance looked over from where he was standing and packing and smiled. “Um I should go” I said grabbing my purse off the bed. He dropped the shirt he was folding on the floor and walked over to me. “Ok well I guess I’ll see you in a few months at home for Christmas break?” he asked “Wait seriously?” I asked shocked, Christmas break was almost 3 months away. He laughed “Yes Ken we both need to live our lives and I promise I won’t intrude in yours anymore. But if you need anything I mean anything at all, please call me ok?” I smiled and nodded, I don’t know if I wanted him to keep that promise. He pulled me in for a hug “Oh Kendra I love you so much” he said in my ears. A tear slipped from my eyes and I sighed “I love you too Lance.” He released me and I left.
I managed to make it to my car but that’s as far as I got, I closed my door and busted out in tears.
