Love And Hate A Gideon Cross Love Story

Chapter 29

It's been a few weeks since Christian told me about Anna's infidelity, and every time I  think about it, it breaks my heart.  I have people working on that situation  though. 

Gideon and I are doing well,  really well.  I love that feeling of going home to him,  and waking up next to him.  I don't think anything can compare  to this feeling. I've never felt anything like this before, there's not a second that goes by where I don't feel loved and cherished. He's my everything, and that scares the shit out of me.  I am utterly in love with this man.  In every sense of the word.  So much so that if I had to take a bullet for him I would do it in a second. 

That's why I'm scared.  I would end my life to save his.  This is all so new to me. When Gideon looks at me, there's a million fireworks going off in my chest.  When I'm away from him,  it's like my soul aches,  knowing that something is missing.  Have you ever been that in love with someone?  That you feel incomplete without them by your side? The sky is  somehow bluer with them.  The birds are chirpier,  the flowers smell better. Its insane how much he means to me .

We haven't argued in months.  We're always smiling and laughing , basically acting like we're in high school.  He picks me up from work, takes me on so many dates I've lost count,  he makes love  to me like a demon,  he's the perfect gentleman.  I haven't heard from Corrine in a long time,  which is good.  Gideon is getting along with Christian a lot better,  especially with everything going on,  I don't like leaving Christian alone a lot.  I want him to know that he has people that truly love him and care for him.  Christian is honestly the reason why I didn't go off the edge when things fell apart with Gideon  before.  Christian kept me sane.  He held me up when I couldn't stand on my own two feet. 

I guess that's why I'm  scared, as much as I love  Gideon,  I'm scared of the floor disappearing from underneath me again.  I'm scared of being blindsided.  I know I won't survive losing him again if it came to that.  Christian and Anna were so in love  , well he was,  with her,  and it seemed like it was genuinely reciprocated,  but I guess things aren't always what they seem. 

I'm meeting Christian  for lunch to catch up a bit, I haven't seen him in 3 days, to normal people that's okay,  but Christian and I have spent time together every single day,  since Anna left. Gideon is going to meet us there since he's still in a meeting. 

"Hey you" Christian stands up and embraces me whilst placing a warm kiss to my cheek. 
"I've missed you Serena" he says while pulling out my chair.  "I've missed you too,  how have you been? "
"Honestly I'm doing a lot better, how have you been? "
"Busy" it's true though,  I have been busy,  too busy.

Christian and I share small talk for a while before things get really quiet and neither one of us want to break that silence, we both knew what the other was thinking , it's pretty obvious.

"Where's  Gideon?" He asks , breaking the kinda-comfortable-yet almost-uncomfortable silence.
"Uhm, he was in a meeting,  he said he'll  meet us here when he's done ."
"Its been 45 minutes , should we order without him?"
"Wait , its really been that long?"
He just nodded and stared at me blankly.
"I should probably call him..."

Christian continued staring blankly at me until I ended the call with Gideon     he had this strange look in his eyes , a look I haven't seen in a while to be quite honest,  it was  regret mixed with anxiousness , and a tad bit of anger , that was when I noticed the bags under his eyes , he must not be sleeping too well .

Just then , Gideon arrived , he placed a chaste kiss to my cheek and gave Christian one of those weird "bro-hug" things that guys do . I don't even know what that's called , is it a man-shake or something?

Lunch  went by pleasantly , the guys spoke about work and facts and figures and stock shares , a conversation I would usually partake in, however , I just couldn't get my mind to stop trying to decipher that look Christian  gave me earlier .

I'm worried about him. 
"-Serena"
I'm startled by the hand waving frantically  in front of my face. It was Christian  , he was clearly trying to get my attention.
"So what do you think?"
"About?"
"Weekend getaway "
"When?"
"This weekend."
Oh dear no, not this weekend .
" I can't make this weekend"

"Why not babe? " Gideon speaks up.
Lie Serena, you have to! I thought to myself
"I promised Annalise  we would hang out."
That's believable  enough,  come  to think about it , I haven't spoken to her in forever. Hanging out doesn't seem like a bad idea.
I looked  at Christian  , and he had a
knowing look in his eye.

I hate that he knew I was lying.  I just pray to God  he doesn't ask me about this , so I did the safest thing yet , and excused myself saying I had a meeting to go to , which wasn't a lie, I do have a meeting to go to , not now though , in about 4 hours .

I stood up , kissed Gideon , and hugged Christian  goodbye.

That. Was  . Close.