imagines - s.m

✾ | Kisses for your wound

It's 2 am and you're struggling to get a good sleep. Shawn's asleep, you stare at his peaceful face the whole time, thinking his face might make you feel sleepy too, but it didn't work.

You decided to go to the bathroom, washing your face with warm water so you can feel more relax. You stare at yourself in the mirror, thoughts about those moments where you broke down because your insecurities and your mental break down filling your head.

Then there's one moment you remember, the moment where you trying to commit suicide. The bathub's reflection reminding you those water stained with your blood. Glad Shawn came home early then found you. He saved you.

You started to tearing up, because those thoughts getting into your head again.

Tear slip down onto your cheek, and slowly your crying become a sob.

You stare at your wound, the scars looked like a thick and redish mark line on your wrist. Some of yor wound already faded. You're 14 months clean, it was hard for you to stop.

"Baby? You in there?" Shawn's voice filled the room, you quickly wipe off your tear, "Babe? Open the door please?"

"Uh-Uhm, can you leave? I'll be right back," You said stutterly.

"Are you okay tho?" He asked with worry voice, you started to feel bad because he really care about you, "Uhm yeah. I'll be right back.."

"Okay... you sound not okay. I'll wait here, mkay?" He ask again knocking on the door gently, "N-No, I'm fine. Just go sleep."

"Please open the door, (y/n). What's going on?" You keep crying quietly, trying not to make him worry too much.

You finally open the door, with tears all over your face, "See, you're not okay. Come here."

He hug you tightly, you press your cheek against his chest, not holding back the tears, "Shhh... I'm here."

"Baby... what happen?" He ask, you hesitate to tell him, you only bite your down lip, "(y/n), are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," He relaxed a little but still worry, "Okay.. let's sit on the couch then we talk about what happen."

"Here, take my hand, angel," You hold his hand pretty tight, "Tell me, is there something you want to talk about?"

At first, you're reluctant to tell him, but you decided to tell him because he's the only one who understand you.

"I-I... I was just going to the bathroom to wash my face with warm water because I can't sleep, but then.... I saw my face in front of the mirror.."

He knew what you'll say, but still wait you to continue, "Okay?"

"I think.. the memories just came up to my mind and triggers me to do it again," You said then crying again, he hugged you.

"Baby... you're 14 months clean. And that's a long time. You're doing so good, okay? It's okay to have a hard time sometime, I always be here for you. You can tell me everything, you know I'm not gonna judge you," He said grabbing your face, wiping off the tears.

He kissed your forehead, "I love you, no matter what. I'm here."

He took your hand and look at the scars, this made you cry again, "I-I'm sorry..."

"No... baby. You're not wrong. Don't apolgize."

He gently put his fingertips against the scars, travel around it. He grabbed your wrist and put gentle kisses all over it.

"I love you baby. I know this sounds selfish, but please don't do this.." He said with a shaky voice, "You're amazing, talented, beautiful, and you're worth to live."

You only nod, "Just talk to me freely if you feel down, okay?"

"Okay.." You said, he hugged you again, "Why don't we go to sleep again?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea," You said then went to bed with Shawn.