Poems and thoughts

Selfreflection

I Love giving and I love to be generous. I am happier and able to feel more emotions. I feel like being on the right path. Those are things I learned about myself today.

But there is still so much to do and I'm ready to learn it. While selfreflecting I realized that I'm giving too much sometimes. Most of the time it makes me happy to give, especially if it's advice or even if someone needs me to listen, but I need to learn that I can't be generous, if I don't have enough myself. When I am damaged I can't help someone who is damaged.

Also, I need to be more gentle with myself. Mistakes happen and I can't go back immediately. I need to continue from the point I'm at, instead of trying to leap back to where I was at, before a mistake happened. I can't fix myself in a day or even a week. I went through some shit. Instead of wishing for memories to disappear I want to start living with them. Allowing bad thoughts to pass by and keeping the good ones. That's why I'll start meditating again.

Humans tend to stay in a situation because it seems easier. In short term it doesn't hurt that much, and it's fun and rewarding. But in long term it will hurt them very much most of the times and they can't realize that. The truth is, the longer we wait, the more it will hurt. I don't know if I'm in a situation like that, if I should let go or stay where I am. I don't know which way it is more rewarding. But I'm starting to think I need to leave. I will collect the willpower in case I realize it's time to go.