Poems and thoughts

All time Low

I felt so alive.
Drifting through time.
The day felt endless.
My heart bounced wild,
Like a feather in the wind.
I was an hourglass.

She was my rose,
I never felt at home anywhere,
So why should I still search?
No one ever wanted to love me.
So tell me why, so why,
Should I stay here?
I was her dandelion.

Play pretend,
Hold on,
Suck it up,
Repeat,
Repair,
Recall...

Complete silence,
I just want to run away.
I don't like this,
But we need to function!
Hide all the pain,
I'll fix myself later.
We need to help her now.
That's all that really matters.

I'm drowning in the waves.
When is this going to end?
I need to keep on going today.
They can't know it, stay content.
I need to protect the rose!
For her, fight through the floods.
We don't know where this goes.
I hope there are no gods.

Hourglass,
Make it stop.
I feel so heavy,
I can't breathe.
Hourglass,
I'm in shock.
Please go steadily,
Keep me there.
Hourglass.

I couldn't take the waves no more. The warning drum got louder and louder.
Then in one single moment it faded.
I broke the glass, I broke the glass!
I can't control my emotions.

I'm on the run,
Now I'm a criminal.
They don't know what I've done,
But now I'm on the run.

No pressure could keep the emotions in. I stopped after a while, sat down and started to cry. I didn't want anyone else to like me. I wanted my rose. I felt so isolated so alone. Am I even able to be loved? I knew she deserved better. I didn't want to force her to love me. But it somehow was so sad to know I didn't mean to her as much as she meant to me. It felt like childhood all over again.

I'm so overwhelmed by emotion,
Got lost in this sandy ocean.
We've waited for this explosion,
Now I can't keep on going.
No pressure kept in the emotions.
Felt so isolated so alone.
[To be continued]