Handmade Heaven ~(J+T)~

~(14)~

✨✨✨

From the day Joshua had a moment of thinking Tyler could be his potential growing crush it really scared him.

And even though everyone at their school is super chill with this stuff and especially where he lives, it still makes him anxious at the thought of him always thinking he was straight, until this cute brunette boy comes into his life and mixes his feelings up.

So of course it ached him having to distant himself a little from the small boy because he is so confused and terrified to even admit it to himself that he might be gay for Tyler.

He felt it was best to have some space away from the boy, not only to save himself from growing stronger feelings, but to also have time to think about what he actually wants.

And when he started getting to the know Ashley he knew the best way to actually get rid of the thoughts and feelings he still had for Tyler was to date her.

And don't get it twisted as if he's just using Ashley to forget about Tyler no.

Well.

Not exactly.

He really likes Ashley and he does want to date her. And he feels more comfortable in his own skin if he's thinking about a pretty girl rather than...yeah.

But unfortunately the more he spends his days away from Tyler and not seeing him, the stronger the gravitational pull that he didn't even know was there between him and Tyler pushes him to be with the boy.

Is that crazy?

He's going crazy.

He just feels that he needs to be with Tyler or see him but he forces himself out of the pull and ignores the way a piece of his heart flies back to Tyler.

As if it's saying "go to Tyler," and "I miss Tyler".

And he does.

He really does.

So much.

Ugh he can't imagine how Tyler must think of him.

He really needs to talk to him and reassure him because he knows the boy needs it, without his feelings getting in the way of course.

Because like said before, the more he's arounds Tyler the greater chance he is to like him even more and harder for him to banish the feelings he kinda doesn't want to have.

He just can't.

At the moment.

But until he gets his shit together and maybe see if he has a change of heart and doesn't feel guilty dating Ashley for his stupid feelings then he'll go back to him.

Eventually.

Because at the end of the day he can't ignore the powerful invisible pull towards the boy.

~*~

Joshua and Ashley decided to have pizza and a movie for their date.

Joshua really just wanted pizza.

And well, Ashley wanted to be cliche and go to a movie.

So it's a win-win.

As they wait for their pizza they make small talk and as Ashley's finishing up a story-that Joshua is not really listening to, to be honest- he sees Mrs. Joseph and of course Tyler.

Mrs. Joseph notices him first.

"Joshua! What a surprise hon, how are you?" Her smile is warm and welcome.

"I'm great! Thank you,". He smiles back.

He takes a peak at Tyler who is cowardly standing behind his mom as if she was a shield protecting him from the awkward tension that can occur from the two boys.

His beautiful brown eyes are widen and knows Tyler is feeling somewhat scared, he doesn't like having that affect on Tyler.

"Well I'll leave you to your date and it's nice seeing you sweetie," she says as she bounces Tyler's brother on her hip.

He nods and says a small thank you before they head to a booth in the back.

He pretends he didn't see the way Tyler's eyes widen even more at the mention of his "date".

But he does notice and he hates to say it, the way his eyes seemed more wet than usual and how his shoulders slumped all the way to their table.

He's not as hungry anymore.