Handmade Heaven ~(J+T)~

~(18)~

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When Tyler got home he was quick to go straight to his room put on some sad tunes and land face down on his bed.

He did this whenever he was feeling down and this was one of those times.

He faced his 5SOS poster thinking about how a concert will really make him feel better.

But he knew they weren't on tour right now.

Though he remembers the time they came to his city and he met up with his internet friends for the first time and they didn't judge him for not talking that much that night, only singing and dancing.

His internet friends left the next day.

He misses them, he still talks to them on his fan account but it's not enough.

He wants someone close to him.

Yet he's always scared.

And Joshua is his only friend right now.

Which is one of the reasons why he's upset.

He likes Joshua.

He doesn't want to like Joshua.

What if that ruins their friendship and he's stuck being alone again.

And who knows when he'll see his internet friends.

They'll probably forget about him too.

Tyler's eyes begin to water and he lets himself cry.

He's been holding so much emotion in that it's just pouring out now.

Why can't I just be more confident, likable, pretty?

He thinks tearing up more.

He doesn't want his mom to hear his sobs so he clutches a pillow to his chest and it muffles his cries.

He starts to panic when his mother knocks asking to come in.

He wipes his face and takes deep breathes.

He's probably all red and puffy so there is no point in trying to hide the fact that he was crying.

"Come in," he says after a minute, voice slightly raspy.

His mother peaks in and enters noticing the sadness written on Tyler's face.

"Oh honey are you okay," she sits next to him bringing him into her arms and Tyler doesn't hold it in.

He begins to cry again.

His mother doesn't see him cry often so when he does it always concerns her.

She calms him down for a few minutes until he is ready to talk.

"I like Joshua," he whispers, triggering another sob.

This shocks Kelly but she rocks him and tells him it's okay.

"Sweetie that's fine, why is this making you upset?"

"I don't want to like Joshua."

"Ok?..."

"B-because w-what if it ruins our f-friendship and-and not to mention he has a girlfriend and she pretty's, she's really pretty why would he ever like me, he'll never like me," he cries.

"Tyler..."

"And Joshua is my only friend, he'll probably be my only friend and I don't want t-to lose him," he whimpers tightening his grip on his mom.

His mother stays silent just relaxing him.

After a few minutes Tyler lets go and wipes the tears off his face his mother giving him a tissue to wipe his nose.

"Tyler I know you're really upset about this and somehow I wish I can make it all better but, have you thought about the possibility of Joshua liking you back?"

Tyler furrows his eyebrows, he never thought about it because he'll be delusional thinking that.

"No why?"

"Well I'm just wondering because, I know I'm not a love expert but the times I've seen you and Joshua together I've noticed this light in Joshua's eyes when he looks at you.."

She's crazy, Tyler thinks.

"And I know that might sound crazy but you have the same eyes whenever you look at Calum or Luke from 5SOS."

Tyler giggles at this.

He does have heart eyes for Calum and Luke.

Yes Micheal and Ashton are cute but he's in Cal and Luke's lane.

"It can be a stretch but I bet that Joshua might like you too,"

"No don't bring my hopes up mom," Tyler has thought about the idea if they were to become boyfriends and he always blushes.

"And I know he's your friend and all but I think this friendship you have with him can get you to become more comfortable and make new friends."

Tyler nods, he wants to make more friends too it's just he's always holding back.

"Come on I made spaghetti," she nudges him and smiles.

He smiles too hugging her one more time as a thank you for making him feel better.

~*~

"Hello?"

"Hey Ashley,"

"Oh hi Josh, what's up?"

"Do you want to meet at Starbucks at 5?"

"Second date?" she perks up.

"Um I just want to talk." Joshua can see the disappointment in the girls face right now.

"Oh, okay sure I'll be there."

"Cool see you."

"Bye."