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Imagine if the members of Queen and the BoRhap cast were contestants on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise. As the great Chris Harrison would say, this is truly the most dramatic season ever.
Roger: *storms off into the distance* Brian: *follows Roger* Roger! Roger: *ignores Brian* Brian: Roger! Roger: *jumps over a fence* Brian: He just jumped the fucking fence!
Freddie: I'm so tired guys, I literally just fell asleep on the couch over there! I need to get Miami! Deacy: ...what? Freddie: Miami is my nanny! Roger: *laughs uncomfortably* Brian: ...Your nanny? Freddie: Yeah. Brian: You have a nanny?! Freddie: I do! Brian: Do you have kids? Freddie: No... Brian: Then why do you a nanny? Freddie: *giggles* I'm a kid!
Joe: I know how to how to make a man feel good. And I do it WAY better than anyone else cause my heart is gold, but my VAGINE is platinum!
Roger: *steps out of limo* Deacy: How are you? Roger: Hi! I'm good! How are you? Deacy: Good! Roger: I'm Roger! *pulls Deacy in for a hug* Deacy: *hugs Roger back* John! Nice to meet you! Roger: Nice to meet you too! You look so good! Deacy: You too! I love that color! Roger: Oh, thank you! Banana yellow! *clears throat* So, I have not dated a virgin since I was twelve! Deacy: *darts eyes, and smiles and laughs uncomfortably* Roger: And I'm excited to give it another shot!
Rami: *walks up to Joe and gives him a hug* Joe: *hugs Rami back* I'm Joe! What's your name? Rami: *puts on Australian accent* Rami! It's so nice to meet you! Joe: Where are you from? Rami: Um, the accent is Australian! I was hoping that you're kind of a sucker for accents! Joe: I am! Rami: I didn't know what you'd think about it! Joe: I love it! So I'll see you inside, alright? Rami: Sounds good! *walks towards mansion* Joe: Goodbye! Rami: *says to interviewer in normal voice* I'm not really Australian, but you have to do what you can to stand out!
Brian: *says to interviewer* Paul and Roger are getting into it tonight! Apparently, Paul told Freddie that Roger has over four thousand Tinder matches, and that his swipe percentage is a hundred! Paul: Let's just go- Roger: I don't have to go back to anything! Paul: Let's just go back to your four thousand matches! Deacy: *rolls eyes and sips wine* Paul: Four thousand matches! Roger: Thank you, Paul! Thank you for showering me with attention! Thank you so much this is exactly what I want! *rolls eyes* Paul: It's gonna boost your modeling career! Roger: ... Paul: Well that's the look I'm getting from you right now. Roger: *glares at Paul* Paul: What's this look I'm getting right now, is the pensive look? Is this the Clint Eastwood? I-I'm not sure. Roger: *glaresup towards the ceiling* Paul: Oh that's the pensive one... Brian: Fuck... Roger: You know, it's funny you think I'm a joke! I'm a Wilhelmina model! I don't think you know what that means! Paul: *sits and awkwardly listens* Roger: If you're, if you're trying to tear down my image and my three year contract with them, it's actually pretty serious! It's actually what some people consider the top! Deacy: *holds back laughter* Roger: So if you're trying to do that, you're failing at it because, it's in everything I do! It's the way I walk, and it's the way I talk! Okay? So if you wanna wreck my image, you'll never succeed! And you wanna know why? Cause my image is me! Paul: *smirks casually as he tries to keep a brave face* Roger: *sighs and turns away from Paul* Brian: That was fucking awesome!
Lucy: So, I decided to give Gwil the rose! Ben: You're actually, right now, vibing this dude? *cue interview* No girl on planet Earth ever chooses Gwilym for ANYTHING! Other than you, like, sweep their front yard!
Ben: *takes bite out of uncooked sweet potato* Joe: I think some of the other guys are like intimidated of you! They probably think you're some kind of a loose cannon! Ben: Hm? Joe: You punched a door yesterday! Ben: So? Joe: *chuckles* Well, to some people- Ben: It wasn't a person! Joe: To some people, it's a big deal, I guess. The first couple days when we were hanging out, there was not much of an issue because, there was not that much had gone on and negative things! But, as the days have gone on, it's getting difficult, because, they more I talk to you, the more I get dragged down in your negativity and all... Ben: *shrugs* Yeah... Joe: It's like, let's just pretend you're Hitler! If I'm friends with you- Ben: Let's not pretend I'm Hitler! Joe: Well let's just say- Ben: Let's not say that! Joe: Okay, well, let's pretend you're Donald Trump, or something like that! Ben: *cocks eyebrow* Joe: I mean, it's just gonna make me look bad too, right? So let's, not be so much like Hitler, maybe be more like Mussolini, you know? Or Bush, right? Take it down a notch, right? Ben: *chews on lettuce in annoyance*
Roger: I wanted to say, just like, I had an AMAZING night with you... and- Deacy: We did! At the after party! Roger: Yes! At the after party! Deacy: *stares at Roger intently* Roger: And, I know there was some things said from... like Brian, I think... he just doesn't like me! Deacy: Why? Roger: I don't know if Brian has a crush on me! I mean, the other night, like, you know, he was over my bed, you know, peeling a banana, and was, you know, licking the banana like this. *imitates lick* Deacy: Okay... Roger: And I woke up, and I was like, "Why? Why is this happening ?" Deacy: Okay... is this real, or is this a joke? Roger: No! No, that happened! Deacy: Did he finish the banana? Roger: He might've. Deacy: Okay.
Roger: Attached to me, is professionality! It's my face!
Lucy: *stares into camera while crying* First I'm European trash, and now I'm a witch!
Joe: *sits next to a crying Gwil* What's the matter? Gwil: I'm gonna go! Joe: No! I don't want you to go! Gwil: I don't wanna be here! I don't wanna be here! Joe: I don't want you to go! Gwil: No! I don't wanna be here! Joe: Listen! Listen, listen! Do you wanna- Gwil: Joe! Joe! Joe, listen to me! There is no one here for me, and then to see you with someone, I can't do it at all! Joe: But there are more guys coming! Gwil: No! I could be with somebody else, but I can't be with not someone else, and see you with someone else! I can't do it! I didn't think Ben was gonna do this! He told me he would never EVER go out with you! Ben ruined everything, and he's a backstabbing whore of a friend! Joe: Oh boy!
