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*Betty Cooper and Roger Taylor have entered the chat*
Ben: I saw it; our whole future. Joe: Because we're endgame, Benny.
Miami: And a root beer float for Deacy. Welcome home, son. Deacy: Thanks Miami. Roger: Since when did you drink root beer floats? Deacy: I don't know, I guess I'm not in the mood for a strawberry milkshake.
Roger: *slams locker door* Bro, I'm warning you! You don't wanna start with me! Brian: Dude what the hell happened? How'd you get those scars? Roger: I was attacked by a bear!
Lucy: Okay, I'm going with you. Rami: No! Lucy: Don't go and tell me that it's too dangerous, Rami! The Serpent Queen is a warrior queen!
Ben: Ben Hardy, aka jock Ram Sweeney! Gonna bro it up with my bud, Joe here! *gives Joe a noggie* Just two single straight dudes doing some theatre!
Freddie: Uhm, did you have a lobotomy for breakfast?! You're wearing my signature color! Deacy: You don't own the color red! Red existed before you! Freddie: Not at Riverdale High! Here, I invented red! I! AM! RED!
Freddie: Whhhhhhhyyyyyy? Paul: Why do I act like such a creep? Brian: Why won't she date me? Roger: Why did I hit him? John: Why do I cry myself to sleep?! All, in unison: Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me!
Freddie: *dances along sassily* If you like the juice, go play duck duck goose! Let your mommy fix you ice cream! Brian and Roger: Whoaaaa!
Ben: We'll plant our garden hereeeee! Joe: Plant our garden herreeeeee! Ben and Joe: Our love is God! *Ben sweeps in for a kiss* Lucy: *recites while performing cult ritual* May the one become many!
Deacy: Honey whatchu waiting forrrr? Welcome to my candy storeeeee! *flips hair and shakes hip* You just gotta prove you're not a doorknob anymoreee! And step into my candy storeeeee!
Roger: Your father is FINALLY opening that damn prison of his! There's gonna be a ribbon cutting ceremony with Governor Dooley in attendance! And he has very SELFISHLY decided that I, the mayor, am not invited! Ben: *hesitates* Well... you did try to kill him. Twice.
Deacy: Most importantly- Brian: *enters the bathroom, minding his own business* Freddie: Excuse you?! We are having a PRIVATE conversation! Can you leave?! Brian: *scurries out of bathroom in fear* Freddie *perks up* Go on, cousin!
Gwil: I don't work at Miami's, Ben. I own it! And as of this moment, you are no longer welcome here! Ben: You can't discriminate against someone because they're better looking than you! Gwil: Ben, you're acting like trash, and I don't wanna get a citation!
Lucy: That's probably, Joe. Right? Rami: *flashes light to discover a possessed tree monster covered in blood* Lucy: Rami, do you see that... *monster makes horrific noises* Rami: ... yeah... I do... Lucy: ...okay... run! *tree monster follows them as they run off into the distance*
Rami: ...yeah... so? I self identify as a loner!
Lucy: Oh... my god! Joe: What? Lucy: *watches Ben throw a shirt on through the window* Game changer... Benny got hot! He's got abs now! Joe: *joins Lucy in watching him through the window* Lucy: Six more reasons for you to take that blonde bull by the horns, tonight!
Freddie, Roger, and Brian: *stands on the roof of Miami's Diner while they sing to the masses* My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours! Damn right, its better than yours! I can teach you, but I'd have to charge!
Roger: Paul- Paul: Hey, Roger! Roger: For your crimes against the town of Riverdale, for everything you, and your family continue to do, we find you guilty! Your sentence is this! *throws milkshake in Paul's face* Paul: *looks at Roger in disgust while covered in the milkshake*
Credit to Jolie K, targarzyn, justaudrey, gxldenhoney x, The Queen, dicaprisun, and mojjgos for saving me from having to sit through an episode of this dumpster fire.
