NO FUN ☹ (imallexx x memeulous x willne)

TWENTY SIX

january 9th 2019

george, 11:13pm:
hey ste, can i ask you something?

stephen, 11:14pm:
i don't know, can you?

george, 11:14pm:
you are the least funny person i've ever met

stephen, 11:14pm:
well i'm definitely not letting you ask me anything now

george, 11:15pm:
seriously ste. i need your help

stephen, 11:15pm:
what's up?

george, 11:15pm:
but you can't say anything to alex about this

george, 11:16pm:
or will

stephen, 11:16pm:
why?

george, 11:16pm:
just promise me you won't

stephen, 11:16pm:
i promise

george, 11:17pm:
alright

george, 11:17pm:
how did you realise you're gay?

stephen, 11:17pm:
why?

stephen, 11:17pm:
surely a big straight alpha male like you isn't having a sexuality crisis??

george, 11:18pm:
i might be

george, 11:18pm:
i don't know

george, 11:18pm:
just stop being useless and answer my question please

stephen, 1:19pm:
i don't really know. i've just always found lads fit i guess

george, 11:19pm:
fuck sake mate you really are fucking useless

stephen, 11:19pm:
well if you're trying to figure out whether you want to shag lads or not, the best way to do it is probably by shagging a lad

george, 11:20pm:
right. brilliant

george, 11:20pm:
so now i have to find some lad willing to shag me? that's gonna be fun

stephen, 11:20pm:
i'll do it

george, 11:21pm:
fuck off i'm being serious

stephen, 11:21pm:
so am i. if it'll help you, i'll do it

stephen, 11:21pm:
just come round mine right now

george, 11:22pm:
i'm not shagging you, stephen

stephen, 11:22pm:
why not? :(

george, 11:22pm:
two reasons

george, 11:23pm:
1. you've been with will all week, and if i shag you now, i'm only one degree of separation away from having sex with will will

george, 11:23pm:
2. you're my mate and it'll probably make things a bit awkward. especially if i'm not into it

stephen, 11:23pm:
fair enough

stephen, 11:24pm:
as long as it's not because you think i'm ugly

george, 11:24pm:
of course i don't think you're ugly mate. i have eyes

stephen, 11:24pm:
thanks :)

stephen, 11:25pm:
actually i have a friend who saw a photo of you on my phone once and said you're really fit

stephen, 11:25pm:
i'm meant to be meeting him in a bit, but i guess you could ruin my night and shag him instead

george, 11:25pm:
that sounds proper dodgy ste

george, 11:25pm:
is he hot?

stephen, 11:26pm:
yeah he's pretty decent

stephen, 11:26pm:
[image attached]

george, 11:26pm:
nice

stephen, 11:27pm:
his name's josh

stephen, 11:27pm:
want me to come round yours with him?

george, 11:27pm:
yes

george, 11:27pm:
god this is fucking weird

george, 11:28pm:
oh shit alex and his new boyfriend are still here. i don't want them to know anything about this

stephen, 11:28pm:
they'll probably end up shagging in a minute anyway. it's fine. they won't even notice

george, 11:29pm:
ok

george, 11:29pm:
and btw this is purely for self discovery. i'm not a slag. i've never even had a one night stand before yknow

stephen, 11:30pm:
i know, virgin

stephen, 11:30pm:
see you in a minute x

george, 11:30pm:
thanks stephen. i owe you one x

stephen, 11:30pm:
anytime x