The Book of Random

Hospital Anecdotes

So, I volunteer at a hospital Friday mornings, since my life isn't crazy enough already. And, believe it or not, I've had some interesting encounters with people. 

Take last Friday. I was sitting behind the front desk, doing the puzzle section in the paper, when a hospital staff member came up to the desk and asked to call security. Apparently, the hospital valet (yes, Brian Regan's wish came true) locked a man's keys in his car, when they brought it back. And the valet refused to pay to have the car opened by the police. 

Wow.

We ended up helping the man find a wire coat hanger, which was a hassle in and of itself, since apparently the last guy who used one sued the hospital for damage to his car. The only thing the hospital did was to give the guy a hanger. A WIRE HANGER. 

Thanks to that, the hospital was purged of wire hangers.

Amazingly enough, the man found one. And for the record, we didn't give it to him, he found it and picked it up himself. It's not on us if he breaks a window or anything. 😂

I'm not sure if he eventually got into his car, because I had to leave...but I hope he did, even if it means another lawsuit. 

Another time, I was sent up to the room to wheel a discharged patient to her ride. Now normally, when I do this, said patient is unhooked from all the IVs, the bed and floor alarms are disabled, etc. They're also dressed and ready to leave, preferably finished talking with the nurse.

This lady...was not. In fact, she wasn't even supposed to be discharged.

So...after asking the patient, just to be sure, I turned the wheelchair around in shame and wheeled it back to the elevator. The lady in charge of calling down to the front desk stopped me and apologized for the mistake though, so that was nice.

And finally, I deliver newspapers. Usually what happens is two people deliver newspapers to each patient's room, except to those in isolation. One particular morning was interesting, though.

I knocked on the door and did my usual "Volunteer, may I come in?" When a man answered, I opened the door. The first thing that caught my eye was the shackle around the sleeping man's foot, tying him to the bed. 

I was in the same room as a prisoner. Now granted, I didn't know what he did...but it was still unsettling. 

So...I gave his guard a newspaper, tried to be polite, and...booked it out of there as fast as possible. And that, my friends, was the closest I've ever been to a prisoner. 

Hopefully, I'll have more stories to share in the future. 😃