Sincerely, Asia

:08

"You cannot have a positive life with a negative mind." -Joyce Meyer

"It's a girl.", I smiled while repeating the same line over again. I was looking down at this black and white ultrasound of my baby and I couldn't be happier. I was twenty-six weeks pregnant with a baby girl. It was hard to believe but by the size of my tummy I had no choice but to believe it.

Quamir shook his head while continuing to drive. He had been partially quiet the whole ride back and seemed to be more in his thoughts.

"Whats wrong with you?"

He shook his head making me smack.

"Something is wrong with you. I know you like the back of my hand."

He bit at his lip before talking like he was thinking about what he was going to say. "I'm still try'na wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to have a daughter. That shit is crazy to me. I knew I eventually wanted to have kids but I could never see myself being somebody's dad.", He shook his head at his own thoughts before continuing. "I just don't wanna mess up or fail her like our's did... That lil girl gone have the world."

I smiled while looking down again at the picture of our creation. The same thing that he was thinking was the same thing that I had in mind. Giving my child a better life than I ever had. It had to be a change and I just had to figure out what was I going to do with my life starting now.

**********

I continued to slide french fries into my mouth while holding on to my bag with the other hand. I was so happy Quamir paid to satisfy my cravings of a burger and some fries from checkers. Eating had soon became a hobby of mines leading me to eat everything... Well except for barbecue which I still couldn't tolerate.

"Hey Asia.", I slyly rolled my eyes while making my way down the cement pathway up to our porch. My momma's porch buddy Porcha was sitting in one of the plastic chairs smoking a cigarette while scrolling through her phone with the other hand.

"Hey", I answered dryly while heading for the door.

"Still messing with that boy huh?" She mumbled while still looking down at her phone. I started to pay her no mind until she spoke again.

"You gone see. That boy gone have you in nun but trouble like he do the rest of them girls. He ain't nun good Asia, I'm telling you."

I sat my hand on my hip and leaned on one leg. "And how you know that? You be with him?"

"No I don't miss thing.", She looked up from her phone and sat it on her lap before blowing smoke out of her mouth. She flicked the burning cigarette butt she had left in the grass. "I done seen it happen. He ain't nun but a lil hoodlum who gone soon be running around here leaving babies everywhere. He got all ya'll young girls going crazy and I know that you know he ain't never up to no good."

"And I'm just supposed to listen to you? I'm not no dummy like the rest of these hoes who be running behind him. Quamir know what it is and know not to try me."

I believed my own statement a lot actually. I felt like things were going to get better between us. Like Quamir was going to step up since we were going to be having a baby soon.

I rolled my eyes just as my momma walked outside holding on to her keys and a pack of cigarettes. She looked at me with furrowed eyebrows then at Porcha who had her lips pursed at my response.