Season's Change Winter's Plight Book 1

26 Dreams

Drawn by the light of the full moon, Katana wandered to the mouth of the cave she shared with the only human she cared to know, her Stupid Human her Kotas, and wrestled with the feelings that crept around inside her. They were as foreign to her as the pale elves when she was traded to them, and the ugly Yellow-hair humans she first encountered on the surface and the land had been when she was finally free to roam it. She didn't often think about how she was set free or wonder how she had survived that first season on the surface. She looked to the silvery moon. She wasn't about to start thinking about it. She had a much bigger concern weighing on her heart and mind. The silvery moon filled the night sky basking the land in its soft warm glow as she stood and thought. There was something in the way he put his arms around her. Something about the way his hands, large and very strong, placed firmly on her back that woke some sleeping part of who she thought she was. She did not understand his need to touch her. Nor did she understand the feelings those touches caused. She enjoyed the contact with him, the warmth of him so near her that she could feel it. It made her smile and put her at ease. He was very strong, powerful and she knew it. Yet she did not feel as if he would or intended to ever cause her harm. She knew she should have been resistant to his touch, feared his embrace, yet she did not. She was more confused than she had ever been. She'd touched other males, pleasured them and taught them how to please their Matrons, but in all of that sharing of touches and tangling of bodies, she'd never felt the feelings he caused in her. She caught the moon through a break in the clouds, "Why? Why me? Why him? What is this that he makes me feel? What is this thing that what he calls friendship?" She was angry and confused. She cried out to the moon and yet no answer came. When her body grew cold, she returned to her place by the fire. She looked over at the empty space where Avriel used to take his rest and regretted her decision to allow him to have his own chamber all over again.

For as foreign as it was to her to feel need outside of hunger, she knew what she was feeling was a need for his presence, his conversation; his company. She knew this. It scared and confused her. Her need for Avi left her greatly concerned. She needed to train him, to keep him safe and to know that should they ever be apart again that he would one day return to her, alive and well with that beautiful light she saw in his eyes. She knew what she felt, she just did not know the words for it. She closed her eyes. It was what it was. She sighed and reached for reverie.

Sleep refused to come to Avi. As he lay in his chamber and prayed for it, confusion and alarm settled in. 'What the hell was that?' He silently berated himself. He fought to sweep his mind away from thoughts of Katana. Thoughts of the feelings that stirred in him when he pulled her into his arms. The pain he felt and the guilt over her tears and that not so little something new to him. He tried to push her out of his foolish mind and stupid heart but found his mind kept returning to her and that she owned a part of his heart he could not control. He closed his eyes and explored the insane feelings and thoughts that were rolling around in his mind unbidden. What exactly was wrong with him that he would have such inappropriate thoughts about someone he considered a friend, especially when he was already betrothed to another? He wanted to not feel what he was feeling and hated himself for his feelings, but all he could do was rationalize them. Katana was his friend, of that he had no doubt, but there was a part of him that felt very different. Duty and honor dictated that the insane part of him be ignored, that the love that stirred in his heart for Katana match the love he had for his sister and nothing more. It was clear to him that he would never be able to shut it down, not so long as she was near. He never wanted Katana to not be near. She was a part of him.

She had cried. He didn't know she could do that. He thought for certain that she honestly lacked the capability, that all Faye, especially the cold and cruel Dark Faye lacked the ability to express any emotion other than hate. Apparently, she didn't. His mind was consumed with random thoughts of vengeance and retribution and the pleasures he'd never actually known. It was a very confusing and odd mix of thoughts and emotions. He had never been more confused, more torn between duty and his emotions than he was in those moments.