Marvel Oneshots

Hard Times // Spiderson

Summary:

Peter struggling with how to come out to his family

(I know I've already done this but hey I'm emotional so here)

//

[Peter]

"I'm gay. No. That's too... to the point." I sighed, brushing my hair back for the nth time today. Here I was, home alone, waiting on the Avengers to get back from their latest trip. Standing in front of my mirror, practicing pitch I've changed about 100 times in the last couple hours. I couldn't get it right. I just wanted to be out. I wanted to stop hiding behind this wall I've built. I want to be me. Unapologetically me. 

"Hey guys, I wanted to tell you something, I'm gay. Ha, that's right I'm GAY! ...Ugh no, what even was that?" I groaned in frustration. This was never going to be right, I could never perfect what I wanted to say because it needed to come from the heart and not a stack of notecards. I just wanted to be prepared, because I hate not knowing what I was going into. 

I took a deep breath and shook my head, stepping away from the mirror. I moved to sit on the bed, putting my head in my hands. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to. But I did. I really did. So I had too. It'll be a minute or two of talking and then I can hide away for the rest of the night. It can't be too bad, right? I mean hundreds of people do it. Come on, I'm effing SPIDER-MAN, I can do this!

"FRIDAY, how close are they?" I asked, taking another deep - but shaky - breath. They had to be home soon, it had been at least 2 hours since FRIDAY told me they were on their way.

"The jet is arriving as we speak." She told me, sending a whole new wave of anxiety crashing over me. 

"Great. Thanks." I replied, standing up and pacing. It would take a few minutes for everyone to unload and unpack, even change. So I had at least 10 minutes. 

After about 5 minutes, a knock sounded on my door. "Come in," I called, sitting down on my bed.

"Hey kid, we're back." Tony walked in, a smile on his face. "Just thought I'd let you know. I think I remember you mentioning something about you wanting to speak with all of us when we got back?"

"Um, yeah. I did. So, how long until everyone's ready?" I hope he couldn't see how nervous I was. I know he would want me to feel ok with telling everyone, but it was hard.

"I think everyone's ready now, I'll gather them in the common room. You doing ok?" He seemed worried, but he didn't outright say anything. Thankfully.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'll be down in a minute. Thanks." I nodded, walking to the bathroom to throw some water on my face. 

As I walked toward the elevator, I was practically shaking. It was going to be ok. I kept repeating that in my head. 

The short ride to the common room was the worst. Filled with eery silence. FIlled with thoughts. Ugh. Well, here goes nothing. 

"There he is." Tony laughed, scooting over to allow me a little room on the couch beside him. I shook my head, denying it. I needed to stand for this. So I could address everyone, and so I could bolt if it goes downhill. Hopefully, that won't be needed.

"I think I'm going to stand, actually. Is everyone here?" I asked, surveying the room. Tony, Pepper, Steve, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Natasha, Clint, Sam, even Thor. Lovely. 

"Yep. What do you need to tell us, Pete?" Steve spoke this time, a worried look on his face too. Great.

"Ok, so I've spent about 2 hours alone today thinking about how I was going to say this. I tried to plan exactly what I'd say, but I finally realized I couldn't plan this. It needed to come from my heart. So that's what I'm going to do." I took another deep breath, closing my eyes for a second. When I opened them again, everything seemed... right. 

"So. I'm gay. Well, not gay exactly. Just not straight. I've known that since the summer after 7th grade. So about 3 years. I've spent months trying to figure out exactly what my sexuality was, but I never could. I stuck with the term 'pansexual' for a while. I thought that fit, as I accepted everyone. I would totally be willing to date anyone no matter what they identified with, so that term made sense. But then it didn't. I kept imagining myself with a guy. It just seemed that every time I imagined my future, I was with a guy. So then I toyed around with 'gay'. I thought that that worked. I still do, kind of.

"But sometimes I see girls and then suddenly I'm not gay. I, as of right now, am identifying with the term 'queer' because I'm still questioning. I just know that I'm not straight. So. Yeah. I'll leave if you want. Partly why I stood up to do this." I finished with a small laugh. Everyone seemed quiet. Not sure what to say. But no one was yelling, so I guess that's good. 

After another minute of silence, I started to sweat a little. What was happening, why wasn't anyone saying anything? Did they hate me? Finally, someone spoke up. 

"Damn I owe Clint 5 bucks." It was Sam who spoke. He was laughing and Clint looked smug. I was very confused, did they bet on my sexuality?

"Um... what?" I asked, not knowing what to say.

"Probably not a great time to mention, but a few of us had a bet going around about when you'd come out. Sorry to say, but it was slightly obvious to everyone you weren't straight. We never said anything because obviously, you needed to feel the time was right to tell everyone, but we got drunk one night and made the bet. We all accept you, clearly. We see you as you, no matter the sexual preference." Clint explained, a small smile on his face. Once he was finished he took the money from Sam and pocketed it with a smirk and a wink at me. I laughed at the gesture, feeling very relieved.

"So, it was that obvious? For real?" Though I couldn't believe they knew, I wasn't upset. It made it a bit easier. I made my way over to the couch and sat where Tony made room for me earlier. 

"Kiddo, I love you, but you just scream 'queer'. Plus the very gay fanfiction in your search history was a bit of a giveaway." Tony said, making me go red. How could I forget he could see my search history? That's what incognito mode was invented for! Ahhhhhh!!

"This is my worst nightmare." I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.

"You're 16, no one blames you. But I mean, use incognito mode sometimes dude." Bucky piped up with a chuckle. I looked up, my face still beet red. 

"I guess. Thanks?" I replied, not really sure where to look. I settled on the floor. "New topic please?"

"So, Brendon Urie's kinda hot, thoughts?"

"OH MY GOD, CLINT!"

//

The end. 

Did you guys enjoy this little feels fest? Ha, I've been binging Queer Eye lately, so I got emotional with all the coming out stories and so this happened :)

I mean it's kind of (haha aka exactly) based off of my experience with sexuality, so this definitely hits home with me. Also, the Mr. Disco comment is stupid lol I didn't know who to put so you get Bren :)

Meme War 2 is in the works, I'll probably publish it tonight or tomorrow!!

Thank you guys so much, love you all

- Kat <3