Marvel Oneshots

Memes. Just Memes. I'm Sorry // Spiderson

Summary:

Just a few shorts for you to enjoy while I finish my upcoming chapter!

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#1: Bad Guy

Summary: Peter has taken to singing while capturing villains. Hilarity Ensues.

[no one]

"So, you're a tough guy," Shoots web. "Like it really rough guy," Another web. "Just can't get enough guy." Two webs this time! "You're the bad guy." Web. "Make your mama sad type," Web. "Make your girlfriend mad type," Double web. "Might seduce your dad type." Last web. "You're the bad guy~" Peter sang, mentally congratulating himself for a job well done. 5 guys all webbed to the wall. The robbers on the other hand just seemed... confused by it all. "DUH!"

Peter shouted one last time and then swung away, leaving the criminals alone, webbed to a wall, and bewildered. They couldn't even comprehend what in the almighty hell just happened.

"Peter, I told you no more singing while you're taking down villains. It's just weird, buddy. Especially when your comms are on. The grandpas have no idea what you're doing. It's scaring them." Tony's voiced through the comms, making the younger hero laugh.

"But it was relevant!" He whined, arriving back to the tower to end his night of patrol.

"That doesn't mean anything. It freaks everyone out. Just, drop it, kiddo. Please." Tony sighed. Peter swears he could practically see Tony shaking his head, despite only being able to hear him.

"You're no fun!"

//

#2: Not a Baby

Summary: While watching tv, ironfam has to shield their little sweet innocent Peter from a sex scene. But do they really need to?

[Peter]

It was late Friday night, and everyone was gathered in the screening room to have a nice night. We were currently watching Game of Thrones, and it was going well. I was able to get my mind off of all my stresses and just relax.

Soon enough, a scene came on that was particularly erotic, and immediately Tony, Pepper, Nat, Bucky, and Loki all launched themselves on top of me yelling 'COVER HIS EYES!!!'

After a few seconds of being crushed by 5 Avengers, I coughed to hopefully gain attention. "I'm seventeen, you know."

It seemed as if no one heard me, so I just huffed and let it happen. It only took about 20 seconds for them to climb off me, but it was definitely enough to do me for a while.

"You guys are insane, you know that." I scolded, crossing my arms after resituating myself in my seat.

"You're our baby spider, we have to protect your innocent eyes," Natasha explained, shrugging. Everyone else muttered in agreement.

"I'm not a baby!"

"Yes, you are!"

//

#3: Adoption

Summary: Tony's adopts a kid!

[Peter]

FRIDAY just informed me that I need to appear on Tony's floor immediately, so I was a little confused. To say the least. She said it was urgent, but that she couldn't say more than that. So I hauled ass and sprinted to the elevator, ensuring that FRIDAY made the elevator go faster than possible. When the doors opened, I rushed to find Tony. He was standing in his kitchen. Well, pacing, but still.

"Kid, good. I'm glad you came."

"FRIDAY said it was urgent, what's up?" I asked, worried about how he was acting. He seemed insanely nervous about something.

"So, I have some great news. Well, I hope it's great. there's still a part that's undecided, or unfinished. Or whatever. But the idea of the news is good. And the turn out in my head, but hopefully it will be the same in reality. I don't know, but-"

"Dad, you're rambling. Do you want to sit and calmly tell me what's up?" I interrupted, trying my best to speak reassuringly.

"Oh. Um, yeah, sure. Ok." He nodded, moving to sit down at the island.

"So, what was so urgent?"

"I'm planning on adopting someone." He said, whispering. If it wasn't for my enhanced hearing, I wouldn't have heard it.

"Oh my lord! That's amazing, dad! I'm so happy for you, what's their name?" I exclaimed, suddenly really excited at the chance of having a sibling (half-sibling? honorary sibling?).

"Peter." He told me, setting a piece of paper down in front of me. Upon further examination, it was an adoption form. "I've already spoken with May, we'd have joint custody. I'd have you every other weekend, alternating holidays, etc. We've worked it out easily."

"Oh. My. God."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a HELL YES!"

"PETER!"

"DAD!"

"Oh, never mind."

//

#4: Hello!

Summary: Peter has quite a bit of fun on Halloween dressed as 'Elder Cunningham'
A/n: If you don't know who that is, it's The Book of Mormon, and it's on YouTube if you're curious :))

[Peter]

"Ok, ok. Is it recording?" I whispered to MJ who was behind me with her camera.

"Yes, now go! We don't have all night." She rushed, waving me off.

I walked up to the first house of our night trick or treating, a smile on my face. Before we go any further, here's some background:

Yes, I am 16 years old. Yes, I am trick or treating. But that's not all! I dressed as 'Elder Cunningham' from the musical 'The Book of Mormon'. and I was going to have some fun in character :) Resume,

Ring

"Trick or treat-"

"HELLO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS? I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS!"

Before they could respond, I ran away. When I got to MJ, we both burst out laughing.

"That was literally the best thing ever. EVER!" She told me, still recovering from the laughter.

"You're so right. That was so fun to do. I mean, they probably think I'm insane, but I don't really care. Next house?"

"Totally."