Beloved My John - Johnlock

Icarus, point to the sun

John you are my sun, 

My blinding light, 

The thing that keeps me warm, 

The reason I cannot sleep at night. 

As Icarus points to the sun, 

I point to you. 

And as you do not love me I shall fall to the sea,

Still, loving you was the best thing I could ever do.

So I waste away my days with poetry,

Yearning like a love sick teenager,

And pray that one day, 

Your love for her will waver. 

We've known each other forever, 

And her, you've known two years, 

Darling your new life with her,

Is the source of all my tears.

You're getting married now, 

It's far too late for all these letters.

You asked me to be "best" man,

We all know you could do better. 

I don't want to be at your wedding,

But you don't have a clue.

How can I stand there beside you, 

And not be the one to say "I do"?

If I were Icarus, 

You would be the sun, 

I flew too close to your love,

And now my time with you is done.

I held onto you for far too long,

The wax welted from my wings,

Now I shall watch you stand before her,

As you exchange your rings.

I know that I should let you go,

Move on with someone new,

After all you have Mary now,

There's no reason for my emotional slew. 

But I cannot bring myself to move on,

John to you, no one can compare. 

When it comes to the emotions of others,

I could never bring myself to care. 

John all I wish for in this life, 

Is to stand there by your side, 

Until the sun no longer shines, 

Until the oceans have no tide. 

But it seems fate will have it differently,

You've found beauty within another, 

And now I'm doomed to live my life, 

Without you as my lover. 

Do not get me wrong, dear John, 

I wish you and Mary the very best, 

But I cannot let you marry her,

With this weight still on my chest. 

I don't know what I meant to you, 

If loving me was just a faze. 

But please believe me when I tell you, 

I will love you till the end of my days. 

Dear John, please don't cry for me,

This letter shouldn't cause your tears,

I need to tell you I love you,

Though it's had for you to hear. 

I'm sorry that I couldn't love you as she does,

Couldn't make you happy like you deserve,

Maybe it was for the best,

That fate threw us this curve. 

Dear John, I'm so so sorry, 

That I left you all alone, 

And now with Mary, 

You shall make yourself a home. 

I could never give you children,

I'd never put you before a case, 

I never deserved to be your lover, 

I never deserved to share your space. 

You asked me to teach you to dance, 

To hold you in my arms.

How could I stand so close to you, 

Without falling for your charms?

John, no matter how hard I try,

I cannot unlove you. 

So you must understand, 

That this is what I must do.

I'm leaving your wedding early, 

By the time you read this I'll be long gone. 

You shan't come after me, 

You leave with Mary at dawn. 

I'm sorry that I had to leave,

I'm sorry it must be this way,

But you must understand John,

I always imagined this as our day. 

I don't know how to finish this,

What words I could transcribe 

All I can say is that I love you,

More than words describe.

I wanted to say this in person,

But I'm afraid of what I would let on,

There's no room for me in your life like this, 

So I guess this is goodbye John. 

Dated: 11th of January 2014

Hi I tried writing poetry, sorry it's absolute crap!