John,
Those stumbling words at the bar last night will never be spoken again. When you told me you loved me my heart skipped a beat, (although we both know that is not medically possible), but those words were not meant for me.
You have a girlfriend. She's utterly terrible, a smoking addition she claims to have quit (she hasn't), a horrendous fashion sense, three cats, one a British Shorthair, the others Russian Blue (we both know you're more of a dog person, as am I). The worst thing about her is her tendency to cheat on her significant others, her last two boyfriends broke up with her when they found her cheating, and it's just a matter of time before she does the same to you. She can't help it, she's a compulsive adulteress, much like I can't help but deduce her. She lives for the danger, the risk of being caught, it's her high, if you will. I wish to tell you of these things, to spear you the pain and heartbreak of figuring it out on your own. But I cannot, this is your life, your love life, and I promised I would not meddle.
But what do I do after you kissed me last night? How do I pretend to be happy for you in this relationship when I can still taste your tongue in my mouth, still feel your chest pressed against mine, your hands tugging at my hair?
How will we go on after this? Will we pretend it never happened? Just continue on with our lives denying the feelings we both hide behind our masks? Mine of sociopathy, yours heteronormativity.
Or will we grow on from here? Was last night the tipping point to initiating what we so desperately desire?
Forever questioning,
Sherlock Holmes.
Dated: August 6, 2010
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Beloved My John - Johnlock
FanfictionJohn, You asked me once why I loved you. You asked me why someone as extraordinary as me could love someone as ordinary as you. To me John, you are extraordinary. I have never been good at expressing the way I feel about you in words. So instead...
