Lies between my tears

My end

In an instant, in a blink of an eye i became a celebrity, a porn celebrity, i cant help myself but frown due to exhaustion. Eventhough i have a caring boyfriend now i still feel lonely and empty inside.

I wiped the tears on my lashes as i walked straight outside the school gate, my phone keeps on ringing and vibrating but i dont have the courage to look and check it. Either this is my friends or those billshits that keeps on asking if im available

I pull my cellphone on my pocket with irritation to turn it off but a sudden notification pop out

" where are you?, answer my calls please" my eyes were stocked on my phones screen until it vibrated

Head jerk calling

It rung for almost a minute and stopped i dont know if ill answer it or no, my hands are trembling i decided to turn my phone of and continue to walk

I dont know what to do right now

Lots of problems keeps on bothering me right now should i end this? Eversince the edited photo got viral all people that surrounds me disgusts me. The way they look at me, the way they judge me is like a million pieces of needles that are slowly piercing inside my heart.

I went home and wrote a letter i placed it inside my old book with the old letter that i received from arthit.
As i finished writing i stood up and explore my room,a sudden flashback appeared, the first time i cried in my table, the first time i got drunk, and the time i lost my virinity (i smiled bitterly) i continued to walk down to the living room and remembers every beautiful moments i had here. The time when P'mae cooks delicious foods and grandmom cleans the room.

I wish my family are here right now  to help me. I walked straight out from the house, i stared up and looked at the sky

I think its about to rain, it means that the weather is on my side now. I continued to walk with my teary eyes and head facing down, and it began to drizzle i walked and walked until i reached my destination my body is already wet due to the rain

I stood straight gatthered all my strenghts and shouted "IM SORRY!!" I think no one noticed me since the rain is pouring very heavy and the sky is getting darker

Should i end it now? Would it benefit me?
Well In this case i will be free with the pain im experiencing right now, in this case i wont be bullied again.

Being strong is hard indeed,pretending to be happy is killing me softly too.

I walked straight and grabbed the iron bars and stand at the edge of it. i wiped my tears for the last time and im about to jump when i heard a familiar voice

" STOP SINGTO!! Dont do it"

I slowly looked at  area where the voice is coming and i saw a familiar face holding a familiar letter

I was shocked that it was...

Krist pov

"Have you heard anything about kong?" I asked my friends with my worried face
But it seems like everyone doesnt have idea where he is now

"None yet" he's not answering my calls either
Last night i saw his facebook status and it looks like he's about to do bad thing

    (Facebook post of kong)

" I'm sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that i cant carry my own feelings i cant get away from it, should i end this now?"

" Maybe he's home now" Fiat stood up and bang the table

"Right,right "  let hurry up and go to his house, maybe he's still there, he needs us now Rome said

We all rode Picks car and he drove it fast, we arrived at kongs place and hurried to his room but there is no sign of Kong here

" There's no sign of kong here" kao speaked

" what are we going to do?, he evn left his phone here" pete said and lift kong phone up

We keep on searching for a possible clues until
My eyes caught the attention of a old book in his table i immediately grabbed it and a two pieces of paper fell from it. I saw an old letter and a letter that is written with full of sadness i sat down and read it

" everyone  stared at me and disgusted me for no valid reason, they blamed me for the things i never did, i know im already old enough to face it, but now im already tired, im tired of people thinks about me, im tired showing them that im happy and strong well infact im dying inside

To my dearest sister and grandmom who never failed to support and love me up to this time, im so sorry for letting you down, i havent seen you for so long and here i am writing a letter for you, im sorry and i love you.

To my friends specially Rome that was never got tired of listening to my dramas i love you i owe you one. Thank you for lending me your shoulder and time for the times that i dint know who to trust with i know i caused too much of your time and im thankful with it.

Since our yesterday are gone and our tomorrows are never promised. Today i want to thank all my amazing friends and family for being there in my life.

To my first love that i never found, i want you to know that i missed you so bad, and im sorry for giving up on us, im sorry i never had time to look for you, i wish you are happy now i love you arthit prachaya.

Probably if anyone of you found this letter im already gone for good, at least im free from heartaches and pains.

           Kong singto peraya "

Tears continuously crawled to my eyes like bullets  my eyes are stocked on my name on the letter i immediately opened the other letter and im not mistaken this is my old letter for singto
Im crying not because im sad but because im happy im happy that my old friend and my boyfriend are the same.

Rome and my other friends are also crying.

" where is he now" rome blurted while wiping his tears

" i guess i know where he is now" i said

"Lets go"

I cant hide the smile drawn on my face. Finally  after 14  years i found my love,,my bestfriend

Its raining hard and getting dark, i hope its not yet late.

A/N

Its startinnggggggg

--lee peraya 🦁🐢