Across the Universe: Book 2~Prinxiety

12. Roadtrip! (Roman)

To say Virgil got his way would be... accurate. We had a car packed in an hour tops. I, of course, was watching everyone. It was still hard to wrap my head around it all. Logan and Patton... even Virgil now. He seems to have changed entirely. I am happy for him. Really I am. He doesn't have his anxiety so he's free to smile and not worry. He's dancing around everyone as he helped pack stuff up for the trip and I'm just... I'm just watching. 

The dark crept in around me and I shivered against the cold. I feel like total trash. That constant panicked feeling never left me once. It never even died down a bit. It's just there in the back of my mind. Virgil always seemed ok. Sure he was prone to attacks and all that but he never seemed to be panicked 24/7. I haven't been able to make my hands stop shaking. I don't know what to do.

And now Virgil has got it in his head that the Dragon Witch is going to be able to help. I can't help! I'm in the same boat. I gripped my head as the cold got worse and I curled up into myself. Virgil is going to be upset. I'm not blind. I see how many times his emotions hurt him too. He isn't used to it just as I'm not. Being Creativity isn't just about creating. It's hard. We have just as much pull on the emotions as Morality and Anxiety. Our negative emotions can cause us pain. Why do you think I try so hard to always be happy?

Why do you think Morality does?

Emotions hurt... If your not careful, they can end up hurting Thomas too.

Here I am feeling sorry for myself having to go through all this shit and then feeling jealous over Virgil. I have no right. Virgil has had to deal with all this for so long, he must be relishing the time he has without it. I need to just suck it up and deal. The last thing I want is for Virgil to get hurt. He deserves some happiness. I can't ruin this for him. I can't...

"Roman?" I jumped suddenly as someone touched my shoulder and I looked up to see Virgil standing there. He smiled and knelt down grabbing my hands. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." He shot me this look and I just sighed. "Really, I'm ok. You go finish..."

"We already did. Logan told me to come and get you." Oh... I looked up to see the others gone and I frowned. Once again I fell into that dark pit my mind likes to drag me and I lost track of what was happening. "Roman, It's ok to be..."

"I'm fine!" I pushed myself up off the ground and started for the door when Virgil grabbed my arm.

"Please, don't do that." I tensed up hearing his voice go all shaky and I turned around to see him tearing up. "Not to me."

"Virgil..." He shook his head and let go, letting his hand drop to his side.

"It's just us, Roman. All the shit we've been through... It's always been just us. That last life... When I died I..." He hugged himself as he shook and I couldn't move. I was just frozen in my spot. I didn't know what to do. "Don't push me away. I don't think I can handle dying alone again."

"Virgil, you aren't going to..."

"Roman, I'm not stupid." I froze up and he looked away wiping the tears that fell. "I know how the curse works. We go to a new world every time we die. The only way we're ever going to..."

"Virgil, you are not going to die!" He jumped at the firmness in my voice and I grabbed his hand tightly. He just looked at me with wide eyes as I brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I won't let that happen. Not ever again... I'll protect you. I'm going to protect you."

"Roman..." He started laughing sadly and I held his hand tighter feeling the crystal warm up again. "... I'm pretty sure that's my..."

"I'm going to protect you." I repeated just staring at our interlocked hands and Virgil sighed. 

"Ok, Princy. I'm holding you to it."

"BOYS!" We both laughed as Logan ran in looking for us. "Are you guys ready yet or.."

"We're coming." I called back as I followed Logan out the door still holding Virgil's hand. "Let's go find a way home, Virgil."