Across the Universe: Book 2~Prinxiety

17. Forgive me... (Virgil)

"Ok, Virgil. I think it's time someone explains this curse to me." I stopped short glancing over to see Cassidy walking over and I frowned. "Roman, wouldn't shut up about it but he refused to give any details. He just kept saying he confessed and it was all his fault..."

"I'M THE ONE THAT CURSED US!" He froze in his spot and narrowed his eyes at me in confusion. "That moron..." I sighed and crossed my arms feeling the guilt rise up again. "He did confess, but that doesn't mean this is his fault. I'm the one who stupidly accepted..." I yelled out in frustration and Caz just watched unsure what to do as the others looked away sadly. "He's falling into that pit again. I can't... He was never meant to have anxiety. He doesn't know how to function. Neither did I and I was Anxiety."

"Awe, Kiddo, don't blame yourself either." I just shook my head and sighed. 

"It literally is my fault. I cast the curse. Even if it was subconscious in a state of panic, I still cast it. And of course, he's blaming himself. It's what I would do in his place." I stared at the ground remembering the last time I spoke to him. I was so mean to him. I pushed him away because in the moment I thought it was best but now... now he doesn't want to see me. He's just hold up in that room. I saw him once in a passing glance and he turned away almost instantly. He's locking himself away just like the Roman from here and I can't help him. I can't even be mad that he's shutting me out because I pushed him away. I hurt him. Why is that all we ever seem to do? I turned myself around refusing to look back at anyone as the tears started to fall. I could feel the pain build in my chest but I couldn't stop. It hurts. I hurt, Roman. I caused him to close himself off. Why shouldn't it hurt me too?

"What's with the long faces?" I spun around so fast slamming myself into him before he could disappear on me again and I felt him tense up. "Uh... ow..." I shook my head burying myself further into him as he finally wrapped his arms around me. I was crying. I knew that. His shirt was soaking up my tears. My chest felt like it was on fire. Pain tore through me with every sob I made, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't. Seeing him turn away from me like that at the window... It hurt more than the pain in my chest. Watching him run out of the store because I pushed him away... It hurt more than the pain in my chest. Even now, I can feel how tense he is... how much he doesn't want me near him. I hurt him... I only ever hurt him. I cried out as the pain intensified and felt his grip get tighter. I still couldn't stop crying. "Virgil..." I held him tighter even as the pain spread causing me to have trouble breathing. It's nothing new. I've dealt with lack of air before. "Virgil, please..." I shook my head and felt him hold me close. Close enough so I could feel his heartbeat. I could tell right away he was panicking. His heartbeat was to fast and sure even his breathing became uneven. Still... I couldn't stop. All he did was confess. He told me he loved me and I cursed him. I cursed us both. He's died twice now. I was so scared of dying alone again I never thought about him. He died too. I killed him... twice. If I had never cursed him he would never have died. And still, I pushed him away. I can't... "VIRGIL!"

"I'm sorry." My voice was so shakey and broken hearing it nearly took his breath away. I was shaking so bad I swear he was holding me so tight just for the fear I would fall. To be honest, I very well might have. "I'm s... I'm sorry. Roman, don't hate me. Please... please don't hate me."

"How could I ever hate you?" He tried to get me to look up at him but I wouldn't. I refused. I just kept my face buried into him "Virgil... I love you."

"Why?" He tensed up again and I could hear gasps around us. I didn't care. I was to busy crying and hurting to give two shits about everyone else. "How? How could anyone..."

"Virgil, stop." Roman fell to his knees making it impossible not to look at him. He stared into my tear-stained bloodshot eyes with so much love I didn't think was possible. Not for anyone, let alone me. "I love you so much. I can't even tell you who much because there is nothing large enough to compare it to."