the birth of this heart

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I was told that I am kind-hearted, even if not everyone sees it 

even if some people view it as a weakness

 or naivety

but this kind heart does not come naturally or with ease

it was built from such strain and weathering 

that over time it has sewn itself back up so many times that surgical precision is the only thing that truly comes inherently  

being kind is not some flaw that was brought upon from a loving and safe household on my part

on the contrary it is formed by the lack thereof

the lack of steady meals and electricity 

the lack of stability and contentedness is what has birthed this kind heart

given life to the constant attempts at giving others the benefit of the doubt even if it may come back at me, you see because others are worth it 

others are worth the small heartache which in itself is simply not comparable to what this kind heart has had to endure to get here

i am not weak 

this heart has strength

strength to endure not only its own endeavors but cary along those of others

no it is not natural, it does not come easily but is with a constant choice

a trial of reminders to keep others in mind and what their not-so-kind heart has also had to undergo

which is what makes this kind-heart strong 

and is why i will not let the warnings and betrayal brought upon by others to end my kindness


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