2019 Poem Journal

the attractiveness of your soul

I dont know why i cant just let go 

its a frustrating and entirely draining weight on my day 

Im so young and things like this don't happen until later

ive gone through people before and its always been okay

Ive been okay

But this seems like forever

And I truly believe that because honestly I'm already over it

Its been more than five months and ive gone through all the stages

Denial, bargaining, anger, sadness and acceptance

if it was going to end it would have ended already

Because I accept what's happened

Im not still caught up in it Ive honestly moved on

I know who I am again

I pushed though the stages because I knew after it would end like all the other times and id be okay

and I am

But when I look at you

I feel so peaceful and at home

Which is such a unique feeling for me because ive never truly had one

Im starting to think maybe soulmates are real

Sure you probably have more than one but I cannot convince myself you aren't one of them

I know this is not the right time and it didn't work out because we are young and that's why you aren't supposed to meet someone so in life because you are still growing and nothing lasts in this stage

i got over it

and im trying so hard for this not to sound cheesy

But in a way I cannot get over you

i can put you in the back of my mind now but I believe I cannot truly be rid of you

Because your soul is so attractive to me

And I know you must feel the same

Or at least that's what I'm telling myself because honestly its the only thing that makes sense

And quite frankly that's the only reason I am now okay, that I have found acceptance in all this

Because I know we are young

But I also know I cannot be rid of you

So I have to find you after all is said and done

When we are grown and mature

So that I may tell you all of this.