2019 Poem Journal

tinkered memories

i draw you so often but yet i am beginning to forget the placement of your beauty marks

the outline of your eyes doesn't come as naturally

the waves of your hair don't quite curl properly

and i find the finished product unfamiliar 

the etching of you doesn't flow from my pen as easily as it used to 

but rather mechanically and less precise

as if rather than drawing you 

i am drawing what little feelings of us i hold onto 

because i can no longer remember the traces i left upon your body

for within me time has grown unkind to our memories 

and i wonder if these same memories even reside with you 

or if they were discarded as swiftly as i was

leaving a vacancy 

despite the contrasting sketches i don't see me stoping

i will subconsciously continue until drawing until it is no longer recognizable as you 

and all that is left is a matchless self portrait