Who I Am (Infinite x Reader)

Chapter 24 ~ Regret

This is what you wanted, right? I stare up at the sun, knees shaking slightly as I stood on the metal platform. My energy was depleted, standing on its own was a challenge, but I refused to sit down. This is what you had meant to do.

   I look to the ground, at my sharp-pointed shoes. "Right?" I mutter. I close my eyes, expecting to feel relief. Nothing. Just emptiness. Dead. Numb. There was a slight weight in my stomach, what was this feeling? Guilt? No, that's absurd. I don't feel such a petty emotion like that.

   "Are you happy now?" I hear an all-too familiar voice ask. It was sad, almost disappointed.

   I quickly open my eyes, hoping that the hallucinations would only be auditory. They weren't. The world around me was turned to darkness, it was similar to the Null Space environment that I had created with the Ruby. The Null Space was empty, like it always was, an extension of the emptiness I feel. Only now, I was not alone. There were six Jackals. Two stood behind from the four standing in a line in front of me. My emotions began to swing.

   "You finally got what you wanted. You 'changed the world'." Diego said. The scar over his nose shifting as his face moved to a sad smile.

   No...

   Chevron crosses her arms, eyes almost angry, but hiding pain and sadness. Beside her was Ryder, he had his bandaged arms limps by his sides. Ryder didn't even make eye-contact with me.

   I look towards Shroud, he had his arms crossed, thick yellow gloves covering most of his chest. He looked at me, up and down, then he looked away. I expected him to not say a word, like usual.

   "How could you have fallen this far, boss?" I hear a low, rough voice wondered. Shroud's voice. It sent a numb feeling throughout my body.

   I turn my back to them, placing my hands over the glass on my mask, where through my eyes should be. No. This isn't happening again. A feeling of dread feels me, I try to force the feeling away, but it wouldn't leave.

   "You can't just ignore us, Zero," Ryder says. My weakened muscles instantly tensed at what was said. I remove my hands from my mask, staring ahead of me. I slowly turn around.

   "I don't know who you're speaking of. They died long ago." I narrow my eyes, thinking back to the horrible day: my trembling body. No, his terrified shaking body. That wasn't me.

   Shroud rolls his eyes and steps forward, uncrossing his arms. "Seriously? How long are you gonna keep up the charade? We know it's you. You know it's you." He bared his teeth.

   My hands become fists, my heartbeat quickened slowly but surely. I try to overtake the depression with rage instead. "Zero's dead! He died with you!" I snapped.

   Yes, the voice in my head says. Put them in their place.

   Shroud takes a step back, somewhat stunned by my words, but he quickly puts back on an angry face. He shakes his head, closing his eyes. "Then there's nothing left to save." Shroud turns his back and walks off into Null Space, slowly disappearing into nothing. I forced my hand to stay by my side and not reach out to him.

   Trust no one, I kept telling myself. You can't rely anyone. They abandoned me.

   "That voice in your head is screwing you up," Chevron taps her finger against her temple. "Look at what's it's made you do."

   I growl. "I don't take advice from a girl whose own parents beat her for being a disappointment." Zero would have regretted what was said, but I am not. Rage and words being fed to me from the other being was washing away the emotion of regret. Yet my heart and breathing quickened.