Who I Am (Infinite x Reader)

Chapter 27 ~ Lost Control

Something is wrong, time froze. Everything went dark. I look around, confused. Nothing. Empty. Dark. Where was I?

   I look down at my chest, the Ruby was still drained of power, dull. It didn't seem like it was going to be recharged any time soon. I look back up, searching around me again. Everything was a black emptiness. Why am I here? How am I here? Where is "here"?

   I try to walk, but I could only take a few steps, it felt like there were rocks chained to each leg. I'm gasping. Without realizing, I sat down, cross-legged. I stared ahead of me before lowering my head. I placed my hands on my head. A horrible feeling surrounded me.

   I heard maniacal laughter. It wasn't that different from my own voice. Horrible thoughts weighted me down. I felt helpless. Images appeared without any control. A belt, wrapped around my throat, my choked-out cries echo throughout my head. A knife imbedded into my stomach by my own hand, blood gushes out. But my mind wasn't done, my imagination makes me stab again. And again, and again.

   What Sonic had said to me stuck with me. "Maybe we can help you", "We can help you if you let us". My mind conjures up another death, I am bashing my skull into a stone wall. I am unworthy of help... I think. I am a helpless degenerate who can only bring harm.

   These emotions were swarming me, I don't understand them. I don't know how to make them go away. Everything felt so heavy and empty all at once.

   "Boss," I hear a voice whisper. I quickly let go of my head, looking up ahead of me, stiffening. "Please, just give it up." It was Diego, who used to be my second-in-command. Always sporting his green bandana around his head.

   "You're tearing yourself apart." Ryder advised. My rifleman, and the closest thing we have to a medic on the team. Since he has a past of self-destructive behaviour, Ryder knows his way around using bandages and disinfecting cuts. Therefore, he was put in charge of anything in that category.

   "You need to let this go," Shroud said firmly. It was still odd to hear his voice. Shroud rarely spoke with an audience that wasn't us, preferring to throw a knife or an axe from his belt at any threats. What did he mean by "this"?

   "You need to let us go," Shroud added.

   No... No. I can't.

   Vengeance must behad. Karma must make him pay. I must avenge you.

   I crush my eyes shut. The scene of their motionless bodies flashing in my head. How I found them all beaten in the middle of the woods. I remember Shroud's body; it sustained more injuries than everyone. He had a broken arm, a bruised face, and a crushed windpipe.

   My stomach knotted; I crush my hands over my ears. "Stop haunting me..." I muttered. "...Leave me be."

   Then everything is gone, my body has changed, my hands are no longer over my ears, I am about to dig my claws into Sonic's flesh.

   "...What?!" I mumbled, looking around me, confused. I try to brush this off so Sonic won't notice any odd behaviour. I raise my hand back up. But then everything stops again.

   I am back in the dark realm. I look around, and I try to run out, find a way to escape. But each step was like walking on a tightrope. My legs were wobbly and each step was like a mile. I fall to one knee not two minutes later. I am sweating, grinding my teeth together in effort. Why is this so difficult?

   Someone is whispering in my left ear. "The perfect candidate." The doctor.

   My eyes go wide, I turn around behind me, standing up quickly. "No!" I yell out.