Who I Am (Infinite x Reader)

Chapter 39 ~ Repentant

I can't leave him like this, this was all I could think. What am I going to tell Lex? I can't stay here, he'll get suspicious. I can't tell him about the dying jackal who tried to end humanity either.

   What do I do?

   My eyes wander to the wrappings I used to cover the majority of the jackal's torso. A strange ache formed in my chest. What was this feeling? I couldn't dare bring myself to describe it.

   Once, so long ago, he said "There are consequences". What did he mean by that? While he held me in that chokehold, I remember panicking, only able to remember those words and the instinct of survival.

   I'm overthinking my decision again, I think.

   I look to the end of the hall, to the exit, the source of light. Lex is going to wonder what I'm doing if I don't think of a reasonable excuse soon. An exhausted huff escapes me. I get up on my feet after snatching up my gloves and packing all my things.

   My gaze trails back to the wounded Mobian once again. A dread weighs on my shoulders and I hesitate, unable to walk away from him. A pity fills my stomach, along with a disgust at all the dried body fluid that covered the metal flooring.

   I shake my head, blinking. Without looking at him again, I walk out to the exit, the hallway stretching on into an eternity. Slowly the light pouring in from the entrance got brighter and brighter, until I was outside.

   Forcing my gaze up from the floor, I expect to see Lex. And I do. He's staring at me, wordless. He doesn't ask the question verbally, but his eyes say everything.

   I shake my head, closing my eyes. My hands start to shake. My skin felt cold, I was shivering. What is happening to me? This feeling seemed to come out of nowhere. Everything was numb only a few moments ago.

   Water was filling my closed lids, choked gasps escaped my throat. My knees began to shake. My lip was trembling I realize. All I wanted to do was cry. Cry, and scream to let out the agony collected in my heart.

   "Hey, hey..." I hear Lex mutter. "... I, uh." He didn't seem to be able to finish his sentence. He was assuming that the "friend" I came to search for was dead.

   Hands gently grasp my shoulders but I didn't dare open my eyes to the person I just met who was watching me weep. My bloody pair of gloves fall out of my grasp. I wipe my eyes but more hot liquid kept coming. Suddenly my mind was questioning everything I have ever done. Everything I could have done differently in every terrible situation. Despising myself for not noticing any possible details that could have predicted Phantom's presence. Not being able to hold on and save the one person who could give me the answers.

   I was on my knees now. Tiny sobs left me, one after one as the tears roll down my cheeks to fall to the ground. Lex didn't even try to say anything to support me. He must know that it wouldn't have any effect.

   He holds me close, despite the fact that we barely know each other. He lets me quietly sob.

   I felt so pathetic. Why do I keep crying so much?

   I quickly am able to pull myself together, the feeling leaving almost as fast as it came. Lex releases me, looking at me with a serious expression. Compassionate was the only way to describe his aura.

   "I'm sorry," Lex says, helping me stand. He opens his beak to say something else, but closes it and slowly leads me down the tower. I quickly plant my feet into the metal though, Lex turns to me, confused.

   My hand fumbles for my whiteboard. Lex lets go of my hand, letting me use it to support my method of communication while the other wrote what I wanted to say. Which happening to be a complete lie. My heart pounded, hoping it sounded believable.