Lapidot oneshots

6-Deadly Secret-(Angst)

It's only been five months... However, five mouths is a long time to hide the type of secret I have... Especially when your hiding from the one you love. Trust me, it's hard to hide this from her. With the appointments and treatments, each day my strength deteriorates, the days seem longer, along with that each day it gets harder to say, "I'm good." To her. It's currently 4:16AM, Tuesday night. I'll have to leave in 3 hours to go to work, that's also a fear I have now. I fear one day I'll go to work and not come back because of this. I've had to cut back my hours to be able to make time for the appointments, which she doesn't know about. The appointment would be fine, and I still fear she'll find out without me telling her. I had a plan. I was going to tell her about it once it started, but it hasn't. That's why I'm terrified, losing means I'm getting better. Losing it means the sickness is dying off while I fight for my life. But it's still here, all of it. I look up in the mirror and stare at it, and all of its blonde glory. Mocking me. The medicine not only will kill my sickness, but as well as my hair. So if my hair starts falling out that means I'm winning, but I guess for now I'm losing the battle. The longer I stare into the mirror, the more tears that well in my eyes, and the more guilt builds in my heart, the bigger the lump in my throat gets. I rip my head away from the glass, the glass that now mocks me. I stare down into the sink and down the drain, only seeing blackness. I let out a sigh of defeat, Letting tears fall into the sink.

"Peri?" The echo of my own name startles me and I turn my head back toward the door of the bathroom. She stands in all her half asleep beauty, her blue hair just wildly tussled around. "Are your okay?" Her question stabs at my heart, causing the pain of guilt to spread.

"Yeah Im fine just... had a bad dream.." That seemed to be my go to excuse lately, every time she walked in on me doing this. I turn my head back and, even though I despise it, look at myself in the mirror. I see the look of worry I hate spread across Lapis' face. The more I stare at it, the more I want to break. I know she's gonna question me further, so I beat her to the punch. "I promise, Love. I'm fine." I give her a fake smile, which over time I've gotten better and better at. I see her mood brighten slightly with reassurance, that I actually smile at. "Do you need the bathroom?" I take my hand off the counter, then turning around to face Lapis.

"Oh yeah.. I need to get ready for work." Lapis, unlike me, has to wake up at 4:30AM to get ready for work. I usually don't have to wake up till 6AM. I nod and walk out of the bathroom, I give her a small and sweet kiss. "Imma go back to bed, you have a good day at work, Kay?" At this Lapis smiles. "Okay, Baby. I love you." I then responded with a ruffle of her hair. "Love you more." Then leaving the bathroom and going back into our room. I plop down onto the bed, heating the quiet start of the shower. The sound calm my nerves slightly and I'm able to fall asleep.

—

I was now at work, only a few of my coworkers know of my condition, but that's only because none of them know Lapis personally. The day has been slow, a minute feels like five, and an hour feels five as well. The insanely over exposed light aren't helping my mind splitting migraine, along with the fact I have to set at a computer all day. I take heavy breaths and hold my head, putting small amounts of pressure onto my head to try to help the pain. During the time I do this I notice a few people walk by me and frown in worry, however, no one stops. I grit my teeth and take a deep inhale as the pain throbs through out me head, squeezing my eyes shut. The pain continues, becoming worse every second. The feeling of my head being run over by a dump truck. I decide I have to go somewhere, the bathroom probably being the best place with how dimly lit it is. I stand up and began my way. However, only 10 steps out of my office and I feel the pain began to continuously throb. My vision blurs and I get dizzy. I put my hand against the wall and let out a loud groan of pain, which attracts a few coworkers attention. I hear a few calls of my name and someone ask if I'm okay. However, the pain holds me a hostage. I can't seem to speak. Suddenly my vision blacks out and I fall to the ground. Passing out.

—

I awaken to a dimly lit room, along with an all to familiar smell. The hospital. The room is quiet, well, except for the heart monitor in the corner. A loud beep pricing through the room every few seconds. I look down and see an also all to familiar sight, wires upon wires. They all connect to only god knows what. The walls are a bland white, the room is cold, the bed is uncomfortable, I feel to weak to move, my head doesn't feel better at all. I stare at the only thing I can really stare at. The ceiling. The loud beeps continue, not helping my headache once so ever. I want the beeping to stop, I want the pain to stop, I want to go home. I want Lapis. I feel a few tears prick at my eyes.  However, I grit my teeth and refuse to cry at the moment. Then questions plaque my mind.
What time is it?
Where is Lapis?
How long have I been here?
Why do I feel so weak?
Can the beeping please just stop?
When can I go home?
Is Lapis going to be here?
Was Lapis already here?
I sigh and close my eyes once again, the I'm scared by the sound of the door swinging open. I manage to look up to see a terrified Lapis in the doorway, she speed walks into the room and immediately comes up beside me. I can't bear to look at her with the state I'm in. I stare at the ceiling. The guilt once again spreading through my heart and gathering into a lump in my throat. I then hear quiet sobs and then feel a tight clutch of my hand.
"Peridot... Why didn't you tell me?" The question was quiet, I almost didn't hear it.
"I..." I couldn't speak, I knew I would break. I didn't want to break, I had to force myself to be strong. Cause I knew, these were my moments.
"We could have gotten you through this.. TOGETHER!" I frown at the sentence. No, we couldn't have. Nothing can stop my fate.
"Lapis... You've been fighting my battle since... forever! I wanted to fight this one alone..." I look up at Lapis, tears cascade down her face and onto the hospital bed. In the background I hear the beeps get less and less frequent, and Lapis notices this. The grip on my hand becomes tighter and tighter with every other beep. It begins to hurt but I don't say anything. Lapis, despite herself, keeps whispering reassuring words to herself and I, constant, "It's okay." And "I love you." And every so often a "This is just a bad dream..." along with more. However, those become inaudible to me. Lapis is hysterical, I feel her hot tears every so often hit my arm. Every time the number of beeps becomes less and less frequent, the more my vision blurs, eventually the blurring leads to black spots trough out my vision.
"P-Peridot...?"
I takes me a large amount of strength to turn my head to look in Lapis' general direction.
"I have to tell you something..."
In this moment, curiosity strikes me. Lapis need to hurry though. I'm able to see her open her mouth then snap it shut.
Dammit Lapis... this isn't the time to stall. I can tell she knows this. More and more black spots parade my vision, the beeps going less and less. Lapis opens her mouth and through choked sobs is only able to say two words. "Im pregnant..."
After those words leave her mouth, my body falls limp and everything goes black. The beeping has stopped now.

I flatlined.