Lapidot oneshots

9-I lied-(Angst)

"To whom ever might be reading this,

I lasted longer then I thought I would in this situation. 1 week, 3 days. By the time this note will be seen by anyone I will be gone. Without her I've realized that my presence on this earth isn't needed any longer, and without her the world is just a miserable gray. If it wasn't for her I would have done this years ago. However, thanks to her. I'm still here. But she's not. Not anymore. I can still hear her soft voice in the morning, and the habit and getting into bed and then snuggling into her is still there. But I'm always greeted with the empty side of the bed. The night upon finding out the news I attempted this. However, I made a promise. And I don't break those, especially the ones I made with her. But it's impossible. Everything seems to remind me of her, 'thinking of the happy times' makes me feel worse because I can't ever feel those again. I have the habit of turning on her favorite show, even though I can't stand it. The habit of calling out to her upon getting leaving for work, knowing I'll never get a response back. 7:30 rolls around and I get excited, because se would be home from work by then. I sit impatiently waiting to her the engine of her car pull into our driveway. Then it will hit me I'll never hear that sound again. I dive for my phone, thinking it her, only to find something else. It's the little things.
When I make dinner, I get a enough for two. When now I only need one.
When I feel cold, I have the urge to move to where she would sit.
When I wake up, I roll over to kiss her forehead.
When I wash dishes I expect her warmth to wrap around me.
I made that promise though.
But.
I've failed.
I promised I wouldn't resort to this.

I lied.

-Peridot."

After clicking the pen closed, Peridot places the paper onto the deck. The Paper the holds her last thoughts. Her last account. She then reaches over and grabs the 1911, she only bought the other night. For the occasion. I'm between her choked sods she raises the pistol to her head, placing the cold tip to her temple.

"I'm sorry, Lapis.... I lied to you."

She then pulls the trigger. Instant. Just how she planed.

....

Much love ❤️
~Red