Detour

2: Still Him

"How are you feeling?"

"Well...I'm actually feeling fine now." She bit her lower lip as she keep on playing with her hair. She can't look straight in my eyes. I don't know. "You know, I can't believe you did that to Devin. He—he's such a—"

"Bastard. Devin's not the type of guy who'll treasure someone like you Ther. And he deserves it." I put my hand above hers and squeeze them tightly. "It's just a girly-shower-revenge for Devin but I'm proud I washed his sins a bit." She chuckled, "But nothing more, I'm glad you're feeling fine now." I stood up and ready myself to get out from her room.

"Jess." It took three minutes for her to continue, "I... Do you think..." brows furrowed, I stayed focus. "Do you think Vince still loves me?" Her blue eyes were pleading for answers.

"Vince?" He's just the one I'm in love with Ther. Before you and Vince became a couple, I'm already in love with him, and ugh don't be such a hypocrite Jess. You're not some lost snake. "I-I don't know Ther. Why don't you guys talk it out?" Scratching my head, damn it's awkward! "Because, no offense, I'm quite lonely without you talking to each other. You're both my best friends and I just hope you guys will kind of sort it out." I smiled shortly.

Being the bridge in their relationship is really hard. Fuck.
I'm too good to be true to let them break each other's heart for my sake.

She's speechless for a while. "Jess, I think I know why Devin played with me." She's opening up and everytime she does this, my errands always ending up late night, but she's my best friend too and I want to help her.

So I sat back in her chair facing her study table. "And why is that? You're beautiful Ther and you're like—the perfect girl!" I clasp my hand and point out her. Therese Cullen had straight, shoulder length blonde hair and she got this thick eyelashes that makes her light blue eyes shine more. She looks like a barbie and I'm... I look more like a ragdoll. "Why do you think he did it?"

She crossed her legs, "You're wrong Jess." She laughed, "I'm not the perfect girl. I think Devin even sensed something and his first defense is to hurt me. Do you get it Jess?"

My brows furrowed, "Sense what? That he's a total jerk and he needs to cheat on you to live? Well, he's really a jerk—"

"That I'm not into him! He knows before I know it Jess!" The whole place lights up with her excitement.

Is this something I should be worried?

Struck like an idiot, "He knows what?"

DRUMBEATS.

"That I'm still in love with Vince."

That I'm still in love with Vince.
That I'm still in love with Vince.
That I'm still in love with Vince.
That I'm still in love with Vince.

Gunshot. I can feel my heart bleeding.

As if she realized it now and figured a theory in NASA, she jumped from her bed and went up to me. "OH MY GOD! JESS! I'm still in love with Vince! I'm such a fool! It's been him the whole time!"

And it's been you the whole time he loves Ther. I'm always out of the picture. I'm such a DUFF. But I'm not fat. Geez. I'm a total alien in this so called friendship.

Fuck man, I thought I can't feel pain after what Vince had into me. But Therese and Vince means going back together and me still hopelessly romantic towards him is hell on earth.

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

"Ther, I think you should know this." I held her hand. I don't want to tell her that I'm in love with his ex and planning to take him away from her—and I won't! But at least, I want her to know on what I feel towards Vince in a nice way. I can't keep it from her any longer, same as through being away from both of them. That's the choice I was left, I guess.

"You're..." she covered her mouth, "Jess, are you BISEXUAL?!" her eyes wide as saucers.

"GOD NO!" I shout in defense. I don't always wear dresses but I have long, dark hair and I wear undergarments like most girls do. Ugh.

"Oh. Then what is it? You're seeing someone aren't you?" Her eyes are sparkling.

I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't ruin our friendship for the sake of my selfishness, and my feelings for Vince— which is, a one-sided love after all. Ugh. What gives? If I'll tell her, she'll go nuts and probably hate me, ignore me. And if she'll found out that Vince don't love me and SHE'S BEEN ALL ALONG, that's one hell of a torture for me— and a total disaster in my part. I can't do it.

"Nothing—"

"No one? Or..." she thinks for a bit. "Jess! I know you're about to say something! C'mon!" She shakes my shoulders so now I'm facing her.

I was about to say that I really need to go because that's the truth, it's really late and I can't just keep my window open in my room all night, can I?

The conversation was cut off when her phone rang so she has to pick the call up.

She squealed, stretching her phone away from her a bit and faced me with that face. "JESS! IT'S VINCE!" And started pointing her fingers to the phone like 'hear our conversations dipshit'

Or I'm just overreacting?

"Jess! Oh my God, this is happening!"

Just like the yearbook photo I got in elementary, little Jess forced a smile the moment her life begins to break.