A Silhouette and Maybe More

Affected By The Ones Around You

I don't understand, what did I do wrong? I sat on the couch recovering from my scare hearing things being smashed in the background. I heard glass shards being dropped to the cold, hard tiles that covered the kitchen floor, every smash made my muscles jerk. I wasn't sure whether I should make an attempt of stopping him, but I didn't want to get hurt, but I also didn't want him to do anything stupid. Yet again I was faced with that decision; go or stay?

After hearing enough objects being completely destroyed I had had enough. I boldly walked through the narrow hallway leading into the kitchen and just as I was about to step foot into the room, a plate flew past my face barely missing me instantly making me flinch. I came out of my defence position and stared at Dan like a mother would when she caught her child in the act of doing something they shouldn't be doing. He knew that what he was doing was wrong, he knew but he refused to care. Caring was a quality he lacked and it was up to me to change it and I needed to do it as soon as I possibly could to retain my chance of freedom.

He exhaled gaining his breath back from his outburst of rage. The exhale soon turned into a sigh, then a whimper. He ran his hand threw his hair trying to calm himself down. I couldn't just stand there, I needed to do something, then an idea came to mind. I had to constantly remind myself that I had to be gentle with him so I could be treated the same.

I carefully walked over to him avoiding the broken shards of glass on the ground and approached him with caution. He turned to face me, looking deep into my eyes. The closer I got to him the more I had to tilt my head up, he was so tall. I noticed that one lonely tear strolling down his face and I placed my hands on his cheeks wiping away the tear at the same time. My cold hands contrasted with his burning cheeks. At first sign on physical contact, he relaxed into my hands that were supporting his face calming him of his recent frenzy. The corner of his lips flickered into a penitent smile at the sudden comfort of my caring succour, gently placing his much larger hand on top of mine. Feeling his touch somehow made me feel reassured and surprisingly making me feel at peace with him.

Even though he's told me nothing about him, I could relate to him; the constant feeling of being trapped (metaphorically and realistically). My life back at home was never the most exciting, living in a dull little cottage in the middle of the field by the sea that was rarely ever visited having nothing but the calm atmosphere and the relaxing scenery to lose yourself to. I'd always dream of travelling, falling in love, becoming successful and to be accepted by society, all the usual things that an average young adult would want. But I was just one of the unlucky ones; daughter of a policeman and a hairdresser living in an isolated house on an isolated area with the nearest town an hour away. That was all my life my was; isolated. I wanted to escape it all. The sadness in his eyes mirrored whatever they saw; the small, timid girl full of dejection and anguish standing infront of him. I wanted to help him - voluntarily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just trying to help." I apologised, tears blurring my vision. He returned the favour by wiping away my tear, sorrowful of my fear. Although I agreed to stay and help him I was still genuinely terrified of him, anger just seemed to radiate off him whenever we're in session leading to an enraged outcome.

"You have to understand that my past is difficult-"

"Of course, of course, I know." I nodded eagerly.

"It's not you that makes me upset, so don't blame yourself."

Already he was beginning to change, instead of taking a fit at me he apologised in a way. I could start to see the better side of him which I could possibly get used to. Maybe I was better at this than I thought. I realised that my hands were still pressed against his face so I gradually pulled away and took a step back awkwardly standing in front of him while he sighed greatly.

"Do you want to carry on?" I asked.

"Not now, there's something I need to do." He replied walking past me lightly brushing my shoulder leaving me alone in the kitchen to question what that 'something' was. I heard his footsteps continue to climb the stairs known for their noisy reputation and into the bedroom he kept me in. The ceiling to the kitchen was the floor to the bedroom, so all I could hear was furniture being shifted, footsteps being taken and sometimes, utter silence.

I tried to think of things to occupy myself with in the meantime, I've never really had any free time since I escaped so I didn't know what to do. An idea popped into my head when the orange sun came out of hiding and hit my eyes, I couldn't resist a sunset. Expecting the back door to be locked, it surprisingly opened, leading to a path into a never ending field of crops; fully-grown trees in the distance and the chirping of birds singing their song. It was almost picturesque, but it didn't quite match the image of an old, falling-apart farm house that stood right in the middle of it all, but I didn't mind that. There's a flaw for every perfection and a perfection for every flaw.

I stood in the doorway breathing in the fresh smell of air letting it fill my lungs. Looking up at the sky I saw an array of colours, the bright pink clouds as it reflected the setting sun, the baby blue sky which faded into a deep orange as it got closer to the sun, it was so calming and I couldn't understand how such a troubled man could live in such a place with scenery like this and still have serious problems.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" A voice behind me said. I spun round to see Dan with his arms folded, leaning against the door frame. His crystal blue eyes illuminated when he stood in direct sunlight. My body instantly started to react in that way whenever I saw someone that was attractive; flutter of the heart, trembling of the limbs and stumbling of the words. I proceeded to nod averting my eyes to avoid embarrassing myself whatever way possible.

No, I'm not attracted to him, remember what he has done. He's a murderer.