A Silhouette and Maybe More

Tragedy

My heart stopped, my breathing increased and my ears automatically blocked out any sound that was attempting to enter my ears. I began to see double making me light-headed and dizzy, almost physically sick. How could this of happened? I asked him to keep himself safe. I couldn't mentally process anything I've just been told, I couldn't process that the very man for whom I had admittedly loved was no longer apart of life.

"Amelia what's wrong?" Elise asks placing her hand on my shoulder, questioning my dizzy-like reaction.

"Oh...erm, nothing. I-I'm fine. I'm sorry to hear that...Dan has passed away."

No, I couldn't cry, not in front of Elise she'll know something is obviously wrong if I was crying buckets after hearing news about Dan's funeral.

"I was close to him, but after some complications we drifted apart, I hadn't seen him in so long."

"Oh...that's terrible. It's such a shame. Excuse me I need to go to the bathroom."

I burst in through the bathroom door and my tears flooded the room. I was so thankful that the toilets were empty and that no one was here to listen to my mournful crying. I sat in the corner, my knees tucked tightly into my chest thinking about the memories that were spent with Dan. I had only known him for about 3 weeks, but he had still managed to create an impact on me a year later. My hopes that maybe one day I would be able to see him again were shattered, there was nothing to be done. I knew that from this moment on my life would evolve around this particular catastrophe and that my mind would refuse to let me ignore it and move on. I didn't even know how or when or why he died, I wasn't so concerned about that.

It was only about 5 minutes before Elise arrived that I'd stop crying. She came in through the door and immediately noticed me on the floor curled up.

"Amelia? What are you doing, have you been crying?" She asked calmly. She joined beside me protectively hanging her arm around my shoulder. I had changed my mind, maybe I should tell her...

"Your cousin, Dan, how did he die?"

"Well, he had always been a lovely sweet guy, but something happened and he changed. We had became distant at that point so I didn't know any details. Apparently he got heavily involved with the police. They say that he died during a car crash while was running away from the police. Sadly, the car ignited and his body was never recovered." She sighed, sniffing. This was definitely him, there was nothing to argue against it, the proof was there. I had no choice but to believe everything Elise was saying to me. The horror and tragedy of his death made my heart sink, and suddenly new questions popped into my head that I knew could never possibly be answered, only by Dan.

Oh Dan, why?

"Elise I think you should know that...I knew Dan."

"What? How?" Her eyes squinted with confusion and her eyebrows knitted together.

"It was last year, I had stayed with him for a while, and the time that I'd known him he was either kind and gentle or horrifically aggressive, but you couldn't blame him; he was a troubled man that had been through some rough times. I did develop a liking to him and the same for him to me, but after he got involved with the police he...he let me go to protect me. I haven't s-seen him since and now that he passed a-away I will never see him again." I sobbed, I buried my head deep into my hands and let my palms soak up the tears. I could tell from how silent Elise was being that she was obviously in a state of shock, but the way she supportively rubbed my shoulder told me that she sympathised with me. She really was a friend.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Amelia, I really am. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't entirely sure, I couldn't connect the dots until I was completely certain. But now it all makes sense."

Elise helped me up and pulled me away from the toilets. At this point, we were both fragile and needed to be handled with care, we were like glass. Elise gave me permission to go home, but since I was in such a state I couldn't bare going home to Abigail; her loud and obnoxious ways would've pushed me over the edge, falling into a pit of complete misery. As much as she wanted to stay, Elise had left me to wander around for a couple of hours on my own although I didn't mind, it would give me time to think. We departed as she left to visit her mum, I, however, had no certain destination. Aimlessly wandering around I eventually came by a relatively concealed cafe that seemed quiet and I entered. The barista smiled at me as I walked in, patiently waiting for his next customer which was most likely to be me seeing that there was only about 2 or 3 people in this place.
After ordering a small coffee I found myself sitting by the window fiddling about with anything I could find hoping to drag myself away from the thought of Dan's death but I was unsuccessful, I would whimper every time that burning thought ran through my mind.

"Dammit Dan, you promised." I quietly muttered as I had made myself snuffly and upset. Every time I closed my eyes he was there, his overly-dramatic puff of hair, his ragged and washed out denim jacket and his scruffy converse which he refused to chuck out, he was everywhere. The more I allowed myself to think about it, the more it frustrated me; why had he chose to ignore me? Block my number? Apologise for something that I didn't know of? Those were the questions that were burning my mind and had an undying need to be contemplated.

Darkness cloaked the skies and streetlights radiated that gloomy orange colour on every street. I had began to make my way back to the flat keeping my head down watching my shadow mirror my every move. I came across an alleyway by the side of the small local pub which was occasionally used for small-time gigs. Each of the advertisement posters stuck to the wall was placed on top the previous ones, then eventually ripped off, leaving a residue. Scanning through what was left of the posters, only one stuck out to me, the corner that was probably the most important corner of that entire poster had remained on that wall for everyone to see, the words...

BASTILLE.