A Silhouette and Maybe More

The Next Journey

My world shattered at the millisecond of looking at that sentence. Oh Dan, what have you done? I didn't know what to do, how to react, how to simply live knowing that I couldn't reach him anymore.

The next ten minutes were a blur for me but when I finally came to I ended up finding myself half way along the main road, back towards Dan's. Turning back I saw my bedroom window wide open and the curtains flapping furiously in the wind. Figuring out what I'd done, I shook my head and carried on whatever the consequence. The road was long and tonight was really not the best night to be walking alone in. The wind was abnormally strong and the bitter cold froze each and every one of my limbs, but however I was determined to make my way back to Dan's no matter how hard it would be.

Head down, arms folded and my fingers curled into my sides I trudged on through the deafening winds and the darkness that kept on causing me trip. I just wanted to see Dan, why did the weather need to make it so difficult for me? Moments from collapsing, that familiar driveway came into my path, I looked right to see the farm house that I thought I'd never see again not too far from where I was standing. There it is. I increased my pace, eager to get into the warmth and comfort of the house.

The front door opened with ease, why has he left his door open?
"Dan?" I shouted, but all that I heard was the echo of my own voice circling back to me. I tried once more, getting nothing in return. I searched every room to find no Dan, not even a single clue to where he was, only his phone was to be found. The screen was completely smashed, front and back, it barely even worked. I pressed the home button only to see a picture of me, wandering through the fields with my back facing him and the sun in the distance. I wasn't even aware that he'd taken the picture and all this time he's kept and his lock screen reminding himself of me.

My heart broke inside me, tears were flowing down past my face as I didn't even make an attempt to stop them. I clutched onto the phone as if it was a part of him, climbed into his bed and wrapped myself up with his scent flowing through my nose.

Maybe he's just away, maybe he'll come back soon.

My mind just kept on feeding me lies that I could latch myself onto to keep my hopes up, but I knew damn well that Dan was gone and was never coming back. Whether he was in prison or in hiding my chances of being with him one more time was very slim, almost nothing.

I cried myself to sleep in the bed that I slept in only three months ago, except then I wasn't alone. I didn't care if my mum or dad were looking for me, they should've known by now that I hated being bombarded with questions about Dan and being locked away in my bedroom for 'my own safety' as they had put it, but I was just as safe as I was when I was with Dan...almost.

After my long and deep sleep I awoke expecting to see Dan beside me, but to no avail, a empty space occupied the bed. Maybe he's here and he's already up my optimistic mind told me. Regarding my depressed and empty feelings my mind remained optimistic, I wasn't sure why but I guess it was just something to hold onto until I gave up on all hope.

I rushed out of the bed and down the stairs to find nothing. It was then I finally admitted to myself that Dan was no longer coming back, he's left for good. Being in this house was making it harder for me to process my sudden realisation, I had to leave. Now that the weather had cleared up over night it was made it easier for me to walk home, trying to forget Dan, but not entirely. I wanted to remember Dan as being a friendly and kind person rather than being more widely known as a murderer.
It was hard. It's impossible to forget the only person that has ever shown appreciation, love and interest towards you, it just simply can't be done, unless it happens all the time for which that person might be very lucky. Once again, I walked through my front door from being missing, yet again my family came rushing down the stairs, only this time they weren't so concerned.

"Where have you been?" My mum shouted, folding her arms.

"I was out." I stubbornly replied, I really wasn't in the mood for this 'where have you been' talk.

"Amelia do you know how dangerous it is out there at night?"

"Well mum? Do you not think that I can look after myself considering that I'm an adult. I'm not a child anymore and you need to quit treating me like one!"

"Don't shout at your mother like that, we're only doing what's best for you."

"Don't even give me that excuse, the only person that knows what's best for me is me, so just leave me alone."

Having said no more I pushed past them and up to my room where I brought out my suitcase and began packing, only for my mother to come in two minutes later and question my actions. I thought it was pretty obvious to her what I was doing however she still asked, ignoring her as she went on. Having fully packed I trudged down the stairs with the suitcase in hand.

"Where are you going?" My dad asked blocking me from the front door.

"I'm moving out, I'm going to London." I announced. London was the closest city from here, and I always did want to live in the city.

"Oh really? Good luck." My dad sneered, believing that I wasn't actually moving out. I was willing to prove him wrong. My mum was panicking slightly as I rushed around looking for my phone and some change for the taxi that I was about to phone. She looked at my dad like she wanted him to stop me, however he stood still and watched me.

The taxi I rung arrived soon after, I gave a rather quick farewell to my parents, still holding a grudge against them.

"Don't worry, we'll still be here when you come crawling back." My father sneered, in return I scoffed at stormed away.

This was it, I was leaving my old life behind waiting to see what London had in store for me. The taxi pulled away beginning my journey, hopefully forgetting about Dan and moving on, there was no chance now that I would ever see Dan again. No more isolation, no more being treated like a child, freedom was welcome and I couldn't wait.

London, here I come.