A Silhouette and Maybe More

For Old Time's Sake

He was alive. How was he alive? After all this time. He had been hiding from me, ignoring me, neglecting me. All for what?

I arrived at work, stunned. Elise was off today so there was no one I could speak to about what I had witnessed. I had a feeling that this day was going to be torture; I had 7 hours ahead of me and I was probably going to be doing nothing else but think about that moment. That one specific moment where I saw his face again. I was lost, unable to cope with the immense feelings that had been forced onto me within a small amount of time, and yet so fast. I just wanted this day to be over.

My lunch break came and I brought out my journal, dated it and started writing.

To what has this become to you? A game?
You can't changed time, but time can change you. Has that what has happened? You were always different in your own way but now I fear you are someone I don't know any more. In my mind is a raging fire that burns the images I held of you and you were always the scar that was left behind. Scars are supposed to be dead, but you however, are alive.

I sighed deeply and closed it over feeling slightly better that I could realise my inner thoughts and I felt revitalised. Of course it was based on Dan, but nobody else would've known that if they'd read it, that's why it was special to me. I became slightly worried, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to cope with seeing him again. I didn't know what emotion to be feeling, I had a reason to feel each emotion but I couldn't choose what one to go for.

He knows. That's why he smirked. He knows I saw him, he knows what I must be going through right now. He's just fucking with me. That's all he's doing.

"Excuse me?" I heard a strangers voice coming from behind me, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost forgot where I was.

"Sorry, how can I help?" I replied. I felt stupid when I realised it was only just the postman delivering letters to the library. It was nothing important, just some school kids sending letters in about how 'great' the books were. They must've been forced to do it by their teachers.

"Just sign here." He said in a rather dull tone. "Thanks." And with that, he walked away. I skimmed through the letters looking at the badly written addresses on the front, tutting at the state of children's handwriting and the lack of knowledge on how to spell. I threw the pile into my desk and sat at my computer, going through all the books that needed to be checked in for today; only a couple.

"Sorry I forgot this one." The postman's voice came circling back to me. I mumbled a thanks and he went away once again. This letter was different, the handwriting was neater and the spelling was correct, this wasn't a child's letter.

The envelope opened with ease and I took out the letter and began reading. But I stopped immediately reading the first sentence, I knew exactly who this came from.

Hello Amelia,
So you got my note? I saw that you tried, and I'm assuming you know exactly who I am. Yes, I took you home last night. Yes, it was me you saw on the bus and yes, it's true.
I. Am. Not. Dead.

(P. S. Meet me at the park tonight at 9)

My hands trembled. This was no dream. That familiar feeling of adrenaline ran through my veins once again, and to be honest, I missed it. I couldn't quite comprehend that after a full year of not seeing his face, of putting myself through hell, of leaving me with nothing but an apology to reflect on, that I would be meeting him tonight.

I finally left the library and made my way back home, I was constantly thinking on how I should react when I meet with him again, thinking of the different paths our conversation could go down, it all depended on how I greeted him. I needed to calm down.

"Abigail I'm home!" I shouted, but all I heard was the echo of my voice coming back to me. I sighed and threw my back onto the couch. "Out already?" I muttered to myself as I made my way to the kitchen to begin my daily routine. The time was 8, I had a quick bite to eat before I got changed out of my uniform and into my usual attire. Yet again my heart began to pound, beads of sweat began to roll their way down the back of my neck in anticipation of meeting him. Everything was so different now, I was no longer stuck in neither Dan's or my parents' house, I had completely changed as a person; I wasn't the shy girl that used to love the peace and quiet of the countryside, and there was certainly no doubt that there will be change in Dan. But the question was; do we still feel the same towards each other like we used to?

The familiar buzz of the city surrounded me as I made my way to the park that I had agreed to meet Dan at. I arrived, only to see that I was the first to turn up. I sat patiently on the damp bench fidgeting like I had ants in my pants, I was so nervous and I felt slightly out of place; of course I was relieved and ecstatic to know that Dan hadn't died but what if he was a changed person? What if he was worse than what he was a year ago?

I had gotten myself so worked up that running away seemed like a good idea...so I gave it a try. I stood up and took one last look around myself to make sure that I couldn't see any sign of Dan any where, placed my hands in my pockets and strolled away.

"You're saying goodbye before you even say hello?"

I froze on the spot, my heart pounded and his voice rang through my ears. I wasn't sure what I had missed the most, his eyes or his voice. Slowly, I turned myself around to face him. And there he was, standing afore me in the flesh.