˙oʇıɔǝʌɐnS ; Kyle Kuzma

• EIGHTEEN •

Two Weeks Later

Right now I'm in the studio learning some new choreography and a couple of new formations we've gotta do for the way the next stage is built. We had to of been here for at least two hours already, my choreographer says "aright guys grab some water really quick"

I walk over to Kyle sitting on his lap as I chug down a water as he rubs my waist he replies "when are you doing lunch, I'm hungry"

I laugh telling him "already"?

He nods leaning his head on my shoulder responding "I'm a big boy"

My choreographer yells "come on guys let's run through the show from the top"

I get up walking over, I start to see little spots I slow down my pace as one of my dancers ask "Sel are you good"?

I nod making up a quick excuse "yeah just forgot how we started for a second"

I position myself and I dance about two counts til everything went black.

••• •••

*beep*   *beep*   *beep*   *beep*

I open my eyes squinting at the bright lights, I look down to see Kyle holding my hand leaning against the bed as I'm connected to an IV. I slowly squeeze his hand and he looks up sighing in relief saying "Selena, you scared me"

I look at him confused replying "Kyky what am I doing here"?

He tells me "you passed out mid rehearsal Selena, do you remember"

I shake my head responding "it legit felt like seconds"

Kyle exhales leaning forward kissing my forehead as he whispers "you scared me shitless love"

I say "I love you"

He replies "I love you"

As Kyle sits back down squeezing my hand in walks the doctor who asks "Ms.Kuzma you've woken up, how are you feeling"?

I answer "I'm feeling good, a little tired but I'm sure that's normal for these circumstances"

The doctor tells me "you've gotta take care of yourself more, they were telling me that you passed out during a dance rehearsal"

I nod responding "that's what I remember, Kyle says it was mid reversal, I think I was dehydrated"

Kyle says "I'm gonna make sure that she learns from this her bodies a temple she's gotta be more careful, she works really hard, she's just super passionate about her work she forgets to slow down"

The doctor replies "it's understandable why she passed out anyone woman would, right now your bodies working 30 to 50 percent harder right now and your blood volume"

I look at the doctor confused asking "is there something else"?

Kyle asks "did something comes up in the tests, as far as we know she's been healthy and good up until this incident"

I was getting nervous, I could feel my hand sweating as he says "No! No don't worry at all, she's doing great it's not a shocker this happened to her she's two months pregnant just tone down the workouts"

My heart stops as I whisper "pregnant..........I'm pregnant"?

I got scared immediately. I could feel myself on the verge of a panic attack the last time we tried to have a baby and it didn't work out we went through months of pain and disconnect. Kyle asks "so how she been doing pregnancy wise"?

The doctor answers "blood work wise she looks great, you guys didn't know"?

The two of them look at me I reply "I had no clue I'm just always so busy, I've been loosing weight is that okay"?

The doctor explains "it would make sense in the beginning your sensitive to smells and nauseous so a lot of food you'll turn away from, plus during pregnancy your body stores fat for the baby's growth"

Kyle tells him "what can we do to make sure it's all smooth sailings from here on out"

He responds "I'm gonna come back in a bit we'll get an ultrasound done and we'll cover a couple of things"

As he leaves I try my best to process everything I look over at Kyle to see he was just as freaked out and shocked as I was. I lean over to hold his hand and he flinches, I knew he was scared to touch me, I knew Kyle he's scared of a repeat, it affected him as much as it did me. I grab his hand placing it on my stomach I whisper "it's gonna be okay"

Kyle quickly wipes my tears nodding I was struggling to believe myself he says "it's gonna be okay"

I hold the pictures of the ultrasound in my hand looking at them in shock, I was creating life all over again. The doctor says "you guys really didn't know did you"?

I reply "I mean it makes sense but not at all"

Kyle tells him "we were trying but it didn't work out, so we just weren't on that track anymore but we're incredibly blessed, I didn't think we'd be here again so soon"

The doctor responds "but you've been experiencing the symptoms of mood changes, sore breasts, food aversions, bloating, fatigue"

I nod saying "I just though it was all the workingL

The doctor replies "no, slow down the work we want to keep you a healthy pregnant woman it's looking great just take some prenatal pills they'll help"

••• •••

I lay in bed thinking about how we got here I was so scared..............but I should be happy, I want a baby but I automatically go to a dark place. I exhale as Kyle walks in holding the folder the doctor gave us he's been reading the pages over and over again. As he sits on the bed he says "we need to get you on a schedule"

I nod replying "we can do it after tour"

Kyle looks at me raising an eyebrow I exhale squeezing his hand telling him "two weeks and I can be home kyky, my shows will be done and whatever I gotta do I'll do from him"

He responds "yeah just.......don't worry to much we've gotta keep your stress low, I got you the best of the best prenatals they should be here by tomorrow, and no coffee anymore, we need to bring you down to zero caffeine"

I say "Kyle......."

I look at him clearing my throat whispering "I'm scared too"

Kyle squeezes my hand replying "we've got this"