I've Broken Bones For You

Chapter 4

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, it's just been busy. Um, I could have updated when I pulled an all nighter, but I'm an evil motherfucker. By the way, I have a tumblr if any of you want to follow it, because I know a ton of people have tumblr and it's just an easier way to communicate with you guys. I don't post my fics on there, but like I said, I'll start talking to you guys about shit and whatever. Nobody follows my blog because I'm lonely and I love you guys. It's bekithenonhuman.

By the way, how do you guys like the new covers? I made them, I know they're not very good, but I'm liking them so far. Slaved away at those motherfuckers.

I'll stop talking now :)

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Chapter 4

Kellin's P.O.V.

I can't stand this. I don't know how Vic got through his pain, but I can't. I talked to a fucking therapist! It's too much. The regret... It's bearing down on me, the sky on my shoulders. My hair is going gray just carrying all this weight, this stress. It's awful.

I sigh. I don't like being in this house. I feel like an intruder. But that's the thing. Everywhere I go, I am the odd one out. I'm the unwanted one. Nobody wants to deal with me and my problems, so I'm cast away. I jump from place to place with no chance of belonging.

Right now though, I am sitting by The Rock. It's so quiet today, and thank god for that. I've had enough of parties and loud people. I just want to relax. But of course, I won't be able to do that. I texted Justin before coming here, because I do need someone who isn't a therapist and who isn't my ex. Just a regular person.

He's not answering though, and I wonder why. It's not like him to not reply to a text message. Even when he's busy, he answers. So I'm a little skeptical about his well being, but I'm sure he'll answer soon.

I close my eyes and sigh. What have I done? I've thrown my whole life away. And I lied to Vic too. Matty never actually had sex with me. He's too Christian for that, but I did throw myself at him after I had an actual rebound relationship. But I'm not going to say that to my ex. There's no way. I didn't even tell the therapist. I just don't want to tell anyone what truly happened. It makes me feel anxious and nervous and I'm so guilty.

I hate this feeling. I need it to go away! But nothing seems to be working, and all I can do is numb it for a few hours. That gets me into trouble though, and I definitely don't want that again.

As I'm sitting here I spot someone walking down the path with their ear buds in. I recognize this person much too quickly and my heart races. I need to hide. There's no way I can let him see me, and I definitely don't want a confrontation. Sure, he's not a bad guy, but I don't like thinking about the rebound relationship. I know he hates me. I hate me.

Alex doesn't notice me as he glances down at his phone, thumbs flying as he texts whoever. I'm frozen as I watch him, scared that if I move, he'll see me for sure. There's not much to be scared of, Alex was actually really cool. But it's just what I did.

I hold my breath as he walks past. I can't take my eyes off of him because I'm worried that if I look away he'll be sitting right next to me. But this is what gets me caught. Alex stops, and he stands still before slowly taking out an ear bud and turning off his phone. Then he turns towards me. He noticed me.

Fuck.

He takes a deep breath before walking towards me. I hold out a hand to stop him.

"No need to talk to me, I'm just leaving," I quickly lie and get up as quickly as possible so I can escape him. Alex seems to not be having any of my bullshit because he crosses his arms and keeps walking until he's standing right in front of me.