player | e.d

nineteen

ethan dolan

after what happened last night i decided to stay home. i didn't want to risk accidentally spilling my feelings for trinity in front of the entire school. i had to keep them under control.

but i still had to tell her.

i stare at her contact in my phone. her contact photo was a picture i took of her smiling when we went to the amusement park. my heart skips a beat as i click the message icon to send her a text.

our most recent conversation showed up and i re-read it, making my heart ache at the thought of me being so cruel to her. she deserves so much better than what i would ever be able to give her.

i hesitate, moving my fingers over the letters on the keyboard, not knowing how to start a conversation without causing a bigger problem.

fuck it.

me:
hey

i sigh and set my phone down on my bed, waiting for a response.

trinity west

my phone buzzes in my hand and i look at my notifications, seeing a message from ethan pop up. a simple 'hey' was what it read. i scoff and turn off my phone, paying attention to the lesson that was currently being taught. 

my eyes couldn't help but wander over to ethan's seat. i look back to the screen but take another look when i realize he wasn't even here today. i glance back down at my phone and sigh in defeat.

me:
what do you want ethan

ethan dolan

my eyes light up as i see her name on my lock screen. they are quick to droop when i read the text she sent. she wasn't happy with me.

me:
i need to talk to you.
please
its important

trinity:
i'm done talking to you
i could care less about what you have to say to me

me:
just listen to me okay

trinity:
text me one more time and i will block you

me:
come on don't be like that

trinity:
i told you not to text me again

me:
i'm sorry
my heart wasn't completely healed and i was terrified because i was falling for you. maybe i was scared because you mean more to me than anyone else. you're everything i think about
everything i need
everything i want
i'm sorry i pushed you away in order to protect myself from being hurt but holding back was the worst mistake i've ever made
all i ever want is you.