player | e.d

thirty

trinity west
a few months later

i sit down on my shared bed with ethan, bouncing my leg up and down in anticipation. he hasn't come home from work yet and i was genuinely scared for how he was going to react.

my phone dings and i check it, my timer telling me my five minutes was up. i walk into the bathroom with my fingers crossed and my heart pounding against my chest.

just then i hear the front door open and close and i jump, my whole body starting to shake. "babe, i'm home!" i hear ethans voice shout from the kitchen. i stay quiet, covering my mouth as i sob, staring down at the two pregnancy tests in my hand.

both positive.

"baby?" i see ethan poke his head into the bathroom. his eyes instantly meet mine and he looks confused before he notices what's in my hand. "what's that?" he steps into the bathroom and pulls me into a warm hug.

"you're going to be so disappointed." i tell him and i can feel him shake his head in disagreement. "i could never be disappointed in you."

"you say that but i know you will be."

"just tell me. was it positive or negative?"

i sigh, i wasn't ready to tell him just yet. i don't think i would ever be ready for something like this. so i just went out and said it, feeling almost relieved when he hugs me tighter.

"they're both positive."

i hear him take in a dee breath, exhaling with a shaky breath. "let's go to the doctors to know for sure." i nod my head, pulling away from him, tears still filling my eyes.
-
"we're going to be taking a sample of your blood to check the amount of hCG in your blood." the doctor informs me on the process.

"what's hCG?" i ask and the doctor stifles a quiet laugh, "it's stands for human chorionic gonadotropin. it's the hormones that are released during pregnancy."

"ok, sorry, but how will this let you know if i'm pregnant?"

"if your hCG levels are below 5 then that means you're not pregnant but if your levels are anywhere above 25 milliliters then that means you're pregnant." i nod my head slowly, trying to understand what she told me but my brain was too slow today to process anything.

she puts a huge blue rubber band on my upper arm and tells me to pump my fist. i comply and pump my fist a few times, she feels around for a vein and when she finds one she keeps her finger there as she gets her needle ready.

i look over at ethan and he holds out his hand for me to hold. i squeeze his hand, the doctor counts to three before poking my vein and collecting my blood in a tube. i cringe at the feeling of the needle sticking in my skin for a long period of time.

i look over, watching as my blood fills the tube and i have to quickly look away at the sight.
-
"the blood test came back." i'm informing ethan while i cook dinner. it's been a few days after our trip to the doctors. "and? what did it say?" he comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, peppering kisses down the side of my neck.

"i'm pregnant."

"w-," he pauses, unwrapping his arms from around my waist and stumbling away from me. i turn around, my brows furrowing. "what's wrong? i thought you wanted kids, baby. this is great." he runs his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth through the kitchen.

"not right now, trinity! we're barely making it in this shitty, run down apartment by ourselves. we can't afford a fucking baby! when i said i was fine with it was when we were older and financially stable." he lowers his voice from yelling.

i gulp, "i'll get another job or do something to help make money around here. we can do this, i believe in us." i take a step towards him but he holds out his hand, making me stop in my tracks.

"you know? maybe if you hadn't been so stupid and didn't drop out of school then we wouldn't be here right now." he glares at me now, his hands in the air. my disappointment turns into anger quickly. "yeah, okay, but it wasn't my decision for you to do the same thing. you willingly dropped your education too so it's not just my fault that we're in this fucking mess!"

"yeah but if i hadn't fallen in love with your dumbass we wouldn't be here either."

"are you saying you regret being with me? cause that's what it sounds like you're saying. cause if you really regret it so much then you can leave and never come back." hot, angry tears fill my eyes.

"i'll never regret being with you. but i cant do this right now, trinity." he grabs his coat from off the chair and his phone and heads towards the door.

"where are you going?" i shout and he shrugs. "out."

"are you coming back?" my heart stops when he doesn't say anything. he unlocks the door, "if you walk out that door i don't want to see your face ever again." i want him and he looks at me, tears glistening in his eyes.

"i love you."

he opens the door and just as he steps out i yell, "you can't just leave cause you're scared! you can't just give up!" the door slams shut and my heart shatters for what feels like the first time.

"please don't leave me. i love you." i whisper as tears fall down my face like a river.

i was finally complete again. we were happy with our content little life we were building here in this shitty, run down apartment. it was the only place we could afford. it didn't matter as long as we were together though.

he promised he would love me forever.

he said i was the only girl for him.

i was the only girl he could see in his future.

he once told me, "i can't wait for the day our kids ask how we met, and i get to tell them the crazy story of how i met their beautiful mother."

he once promised me the world.

he gave me it.

no doubt he did.

but within seconds he had stolen it from me.

he left me with nothing.

i waited that night.

waited for him to walk in the door and apologize and tell me how much he loves me.

a few weeks went by and he still never came home.

i accepted the fact that he really did leave.

he did as i said.

he never came back.

i think the hardest part of losing someone isn't the goodbye.

it's learning how to truly live without them.

i'll always be trying to fill the dark void he left when he walked out of the door with my heart.

the emptiness that's still left in my heart when he left me.

and his daughter.
➖
holy shit i'm fucking crying ngl
tea: i will be making a sequel woohoo
are y'all ready for this crazy shit?