The Quarterback's Bestfriend

Football Isn't Just For the Guys

Kurt wanted to a do a mini music video of him doing the "Single Ladies"  dance with Tina and Brittany. He initially asked me to do it with Tina but when I turned him down, he went to Brittany. I only came to watch and be a supportive friend, to make it up to him for rejecting him. Kurt, Tina and Brittany are dancing to Beyoncé until I clear my throat as Burt comes into the room, "Dad! You're home early."

Burt, Kurt's dad, looks around the nicely decorated room, confused by the sight, "Deadliest Catch is on. What are you wearing?"

Kurt looks down at his sparkly black unitard, nervously fabricating a lie, "It's a unitard. Guys wear them to, uh, work out nowadays. Do sports. They wick sweat from the body."

"F-f-f-football!" Tina exclaims.

Kurt, shocked by Tina's sudden exclamation, nods nervously, "Yeah, all the guys in football wear them. They're jock chic."

I get up from off the vanity, trying to convince Burt of Tina's desperate lie, "Yes sir. Kurt is on the team, place kicker. He's actually surprisingly good, can kick from the 40."

"Hmm. Really. You know, I played in JC before I busted up my knee, popping wheelies on my dirt bike," Burt tells Kurt and I as we're the only one's who're listening.

"Dude that's gnarly. What kind of bike?" I ask getting his attention, probably shocked a girl had shown interest in dirt bikes.

Kurt quickly gets his dad's attention back onto him, "Cool. I guess we'll have something to talk about, then."

An awkward silence hung in the air as Burt looks between the two girls on Kurt's sides, "So one of you two his girlfriend?"

Kurt looks at me in a panic as he pulls Tina to his side, nodding, "But I'm not ready to be exclusive just yet."

Burt had a look of disbelief on his face before heading up the basement stairs, "Alright, just keep the music down. I can't hear myself think up there. And hey, Kurt. Be sure to get me a ticket to your first game."

As soon as Burt left and closed the door behind him, I started busting out laughing and so did the two girls. All while Kurt looks at me, eyes filled with fear and guilt. He starts to panic, hyperventilating about how he doesn't know a thing about football. I laugh shaking my head at him, knowing I have to help him get on the team somehow.

In Glee Club, Mr. Schue starts the rehearsal by handing out sheet music. He hands Tina the solo part to the song and as Rachel looks down to see which part she was given, she looked confused, "Excuse me, this isn't the right key."

"No. It's actually the right key," Mr. Schue laughs, continuing to hand out the sheet music.

Rachel looks like she's about to explode upon hearing Mr. Schue, "No, no, this is the alto part."

"Yep. Tina's doing the solo."

Rachel Berry's mouth hit the floor, shooting daggers at me and making me sheepishly smile as she gasps for air, "I'm sorry, there must be some sort of mix up. I thought I made it very clear that anything from "West Side Story" goes to me. Maria is my part! Natalie Wood was a Jew, you know. I've had a very deep, personal connection to this role since the age of one."

I mumble to where only Mercedes and Kurt hear me, rolling my eyes at Rachel's shrieking, "Actually Natalie Wood was Russian Orthodox. Not that it matters."

They snicker at my corrections only to receive Rachel's death glare as well.

"Well, I'm trying to shake things up a bit. Get us out of our boxes."