The Quarterback's Bestfriend

Boys v. Girls

Mr. Schue walks in the room with Puck, he and I smirk at each other when he sits beside me and Artie. "Let's get down to business. First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman. Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong."

We all glance at him, expectingly. He blew a puff of air out, chuckling, "Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day."

"Wow. What a catch," my snide comment received snickers and a hurt look from Puck, who's already snaked his arm around the back of my chair and with that I hear a low growl coming from behind me.

Quinn points down at me, smiling in agreement but honestly Sam looks super mad at Puck's presence, "Can't believe I ever let you go."

"And now, drumroll, Finn because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month. First, the a cappella choir from the all-boys private school in Westerville the Dalton Academy Warblers."

Santana starts snigger, "Yeah! Okay. Hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head."

I give her a look that would make the most badass Navy Seal cry to their mommies, making her shift uncomfortably in her chair as I silently dare her to say one and  see what happens.

Kurt sends me a grateful look as Mr. Schue continues to read the list of our competitors, "And the other team to beat, the Hipsters a first-year club from the Warren Township continuing education program. Now, they are a glee club composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school G. E. D. 's."

Mercedes looks around at us, "Is that legal? How are we supposed to compete against adorable old people?"

"Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good-luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis," Puck provides, making the patting motion. I laugh so hard, resting my head on Artie's shoulder.

"Moving on. Since it seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year I want to make this week our second-annual boys versus girls tournament. So, split up into two groups and figure out what songs you're gonna sing."

We all scramble to our teams and Kurt tries yet again to be on the girl's team but Mr. Schue, who's back is to us, shuts that down, "Kurt, gonna say it again. Boys' team."

The next day, after Mr. Schue and Kurt had a conversation, Mr. Schue announces he's changed the terms of the competition, "I'm not tossing the baby out with the bathwater here."

Britt looks at me, "I've totally done that."

"We're just making an adjustment. Boys, you are now doing songs traditionally sung by girl groups. And, girls, try some classic rock. The Who, The Stones. The more opposite your choice, the more points you get."

I jump up and down, pumping my fist in the air excitedly, "Yes! Finally! I've got this covered, Classic Rock is my area of expertise."

Everyone looked at me and smiled at my joy, I'm not normally known for this. Kaydon gives me a thumbs up, knowing all too well that my song selections in regards to rock range from Metallica to The Disturbed to Bon Jovi.

Mr. Schue and I were walking down the hallway, excitedly talking about my mash-up ideas when we see Quinn and Mike both confront Coach Beiste for some reason. We usher Mike and Sam into the choir room, "What's going on, Sam?"

Sam tells us that the guys picture Coach Beiste when they're making out to cool themselves down, "How many of the guys have done this?"

Sam keeps his embarrassed gaze on his shoes, "All the guys whose girlfriends won't put out."