The Quarterback's Bestfriend

Born This Way

Mr. Schue asked for my help in organizing 'Booty Camp', to whip the New Directions' dancing into shape before Nationals in New York City. Why me of all people? I don't know but nevertheless, I'm here.

He and I are standing center stage in front of my peers, Mr. Schue claps to get everyone's attention, "All right, guys. Nationals are a few weeks away, and it's time to bear down. Your singing at Regionals was amazing, but your dancing... It's booty camp time. Push yourselves, guys. Vocal Adrenaline takes no prisoners."

I proceed in showing them the dance routine I'd choreographed for the sake of Booty Camp. Finn mimes the final arm fan and connects with Rachel's face, knocking her off her feet, "Oh! I'm so sorry."

Mr. Schue kneels down beside her, "Are you okay?"

Pressing her fingertips to her face, she removes them to see them covered in blood, "I'm bleeding."

"Let's get you to a doctor."

The next time we see Rachel, she stands in front of the Glee Club rocking back and forth on her heels. Quinn deciphered the look her face held, exclaiming, "Oh my, you're getting a nose job."

I gasp, knowing all too well that Rachel Berry's idol, Barbara Streisand, would not approve of her procedure. Rachel shakes her head furiously in denial, "I'm...considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum."

"So, a nose job," Santana taunts.

"Look, I'm happy with the way I look. I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Quinn's, for example. I'd never change my appearance for vanity, but the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals."

She said "Possibly", what does she mean "possibly"?

Mr. Schue sees the panic in my eyes, having the same thoughts, "Possibly? What about the risks? Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel."

Santana stands up from her chair with her hands up like she was surrendering, "Hold up. Could we get real for a second? I hear that Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact. But can we just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves? I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. Or Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not using them anyways. And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting. Why do you think Lia keeps her hair blonde? To pass as White."

"My hair is naturally blonde, Pequeña Mierda. My mom is from Spain, where a lot of people are blonde. And as far as my 'passing', I'd rather not even be called white because of my deadbeat father. Understood?"

Everyone looks at me like that's the best thing they've heard all day, Puck wraps his arms around my shoulders and I lean into him. Kaydon claps my shoulder knowing all too well the fights I've gotten into over this.

Tina redirects her attention to Santana, "That's extraordinarily racist."

She shrugs at the accusation, "I'm keepin' it real."

Tina rolls her eyes, setting her jaw, "Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself, and I would never change a thing."