Mclennon-The Notebook

Queer

John woke up to the sound of Mimi screaming; "John! The door!" John sloppily crawled out of bed and threw on a white jumper. He jogged down the stairs. Who could possibly be here so early? He opened the front door, and saw Paul. John hung his mouth open and his thoughts went wild, he felt angry that Paul would ruin their friendship, then sad that Paul was here, then guilty for reading Paul's notebook.
"Ello'" Paul said awkwardly.
John just sat there, at a loss of words.
"Have you seen...a notebook?"
"N-no" John barley managed to choke out. He saw Paul's face light up a bit. John didn't know how to feel, but he didn't want to make things worse by letting Paul know he had just read his fucking diary.
"Why?" He said suspiciously, trying not to blow his own cover.
"Oh- I need it for a school project" Paul said nervously. Sure thing you bloody queer! John thought as he nodded to Paul. John could feel his face heating up, he was getting smothered in emotions of anger and guilt towards Paul.
"Well, I must get going, then." Paul said happily.
"Bye Paul." John mumbled as he closed the door a little too fast on Paul. He turned around, And darted up stairs. He just sat in his room and thought about the book. Paul liked him. He couldn't do anything about it. He hated being able to do nothing, but hope that after whatever happened with him, Paul, and the notebook, that things would be ok. But what did ok mean to John?,He thought. He just wanted to still be around Paul anyways, he didn't know why, but he wanted to be around the boy. His smooth round face, his ebony hair, his big round eyes, his soft, plump lips, his dainty hips...John noticed his pants getting uncomfortably tight. Had he just gotten a stiffy from a bloke? Especially his friend Paul? John gritted his teeth and got up. He wasn't a queer, or at least, that's what he told himself.