Caught Up In Your Lies(Ricky Olson FanFic)

Chapter 5

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. I sighed and got up.

I skipped on the shower and just brushed through my hair and straightened it. I then put on black ripped skinny jeans, an AFI shirt, a HIM jacket, and blacked out vans.

I put on music and tried to walk to school silently, emotionlessly.

Emotions flooded my brain and body and I clenched my shirt where my heart is and I fell to my knees, crying and screaming.

Why can't this pain just cease?

Why can't I be normal and have friends?

Why can't my own father love me?

Why can't I just die...

I was too caught up in my crying and screaming, mental and physical, that I didn't notice arms were wrapped around me. I pushed the pair of arms away, grabbed my shit for school and ran.

When I got to school, my eyes were red and puffy and my face was tear stained. The teachers asked what was wrong but I never answered them. The only thing on my mind was wandering who was holding me. I eventually forgot and went back to my numb state.

I was the first one out of the class when the bell rang for us to go home. I walked home faster than usual and when I saw flashing lights from police cars in front of my house, I froze.

Anger built up inside of me and I slowly walked up to the front door. I slowly walked in and my dad was in handcuffs, walking out the door. I was interrogated by police and I couldn't hold in the truth anymore. I let it all out and I was emotionless the whole time.

After they left, I walked up to my room and punched something. Even though he beat me senseless, I still loved him. I sat on my bed and looked out of the window.

They were all talking police. I got angrier and screamed into my pillow. I looked out the window again and they were headed this way.

I ran all around the house and locked every door and window. I stood in front of the front door as they knocked.

"Go away! Leave me alone! I hate you all!" I screamed and ran up to my room and cried until I fell asleep.

I woke up at midnight, when the full moon was high. It was showing through my window, giving my room an eerie feeling. I loved it but I still felt numbness. I got up and walked outside and sat under a tree.

I smoked cigarettes, injected heroin, smoked weed, did crack, anything to make this pain and numbness go away.

I was so fucked up on drugs that I couldn't see straight, walk straight, or even sit straight. I stupidly got up and tried to walk but I fell and passed out.

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I woke up in a room like mine, but I knew it was because there was a bed against the wall and not in the window.

I sat up and resisted the strong urge to throw up. I walked to the door and opened it. I saw Ricky's name on the door.

I growled and looked through the hall. I saw stairs and ran to them and down them. I walked to the door and ran out of it to my house.

I threw up before I could reach my house and I sat there, staring at nothing for a while.

"Why'd you do so many drugs at once?" Ricky's voice said.

I didn't reply and their footsteps approached me.

"Again, why'd you do so many at once?" Ricky said again. I remained silent.

I felt his finger under my chin and made me look at him. I avoided his eyes and shoved his hand away.

"We only did it because you were so miserable..."

I got up and went to walk back to my house but him grabbing my arm firmly stopped me. I whimpered because my cuts still weren't healed. He quickly let go and made me face him by grabbing my shoulders and turning me around.

I looked at him and lost it. I fell to my knees and broke down. He wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. He didn't say anything. He just let me cry.

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I must've cried myself to sleep again because I woke up on a bed I someone's arms. I saw that I was in the same room as last time.

I turned my head to see a sleeping Ricky. I stared at his lips for a while before kissing them. I didn't expect him to kiss back since he was asleep but he did. I pulled away when realization set in.

"My brother will kill you and you said it yourself, I'm too young. Plus, you have Jessica..." I said, regretting my words. He agreed and I got up.
I walked to my house and stared at him sleeping through my window. Why do I have to be in love with someone I barely know? Why do I even love him?
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