Best ranking 79/535 on 27/05/019 . Conflict, love, betrayal, secrets... from the story of Zainab. Adilah Hassim got married to one of the most eligible bachelor in town who was nothing short of perfect. But all roses aren't red, what happens when sh...
Comfort, discomfort, there's really not that much difference between the two. It takes seconds for a shift between the two and yet they are opposites. Sometimes life throws you lemons and what do they say??? Make lemonade?! What if lemonade is not what you want? Life threw me Ajeay and he was husband material, kind, affectionate, so.. what do I do? I accepted him, he was really just a convenience. I care about Ajeay but was I willing to risk my own reputation for this marriage? The answer to that question was no, not for Ajeay. The only man I would have done that for is the same man that threatened to destroy me, shocking!!! I know.
After last night Ajeay left me several voice notes on my whatsapp because I refused to talk to him over the phone, honestly I was ashamed. I've made lists for Abdulmaleek before, it's a wonder that after all this time he and I are still in this circle of mutual destruction. It doesn't take a genius to put one and two together and conclude that our relationship was toxic and now this. So today I made two list in comparison to one another, one for Ajeay and the other for Abdulmaleek:
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Every bone in my body told me to call his bluff but I knew the man, way more than I should. He never goes back on his word and when he pulls off stunts like these he usually makes sure he is willing to do what he says. Like that time when Hadi adopted to smoking weed, it was becoming a habit so Abdulmaleek told him to stop for his own good. Abdulmaleek hated it, he talked to him as a friend and Hadi wouldn't listen, Abdulmaleek promised Hadi that the next time he catches him high he would make sure his father knew about it. Well they were peers, friends for that matter, Hadi didn't think Abdulmaleek would ever do it no matter what. But the day he caught him high on weed, he invited Hadi's father to the house and he saw his son in that state. Hadi got into a lot of trouble with his family for that, since that day he never smoked again. There are several examples, he NEVER goes back on his word except when he promised to meet my family, so maybe he only does that with me. Whatever the case, I didn't have to marry Ajeay but I also knew I could not marry Abdulmaleek, no! Not like this, not after everything. If I was being honest with myself my feelings for him have faded, all I see now is a monster.
I suddenly became aware of the messages coming into my phone, Ajeay was relentless. He didn't act angry or upset, he just kept asking what was going on. "Meet me later after work so we can talk" I finally replied, I knew this wasn't a conversation we could have over the phone and I knew I had to convince him to withdraw his marriage proposal so that daddy wouldn't know it's my fault.
I couldn't talk to anyone about this, I didn't want to involve my friends so I let myself hurt alone.
Later that evening Ajeay came, when he told me he was on his way I waited outside the gate for him, I wanted neither him nor Abdulmaleek inside my house. Mommy was still making preparations for the wedding, She must have noticed how my little interest had turned to complete disinterest in the wedding.
"What the hell was that Tahira?? You left me waiting for you and you just sat there with him like I'm nothing?" I could see it in his eyes, he was upset. I could see it, he wanted to explode "what is happening here?" He asked with a large angry crease across his forehead.
Normally I could stand him, but now I blame him for everything, he practically dragged me into this marriage thing, not that I didn't have my faults but he kept insisting. Now we both can't contain senior, he will bury us both if he felt he had to in order to get what he wanted "toh me kake so in maka? You came and you spoke to him, why didn't you express your anger to him? Why did you just leave me there?" Lets face it if it was Abdulmaleek that saw me and Ajeay together a week to our wedding he would nearly kill him. "Kana shakkan shi ne ko kuma dai tsoron sa kakeyi?" I mean he said something like 'I'll be in the car when you're done.' Maybe it was the guilt that didn't allow him to stand up to senior, or maybe he was just a coward.
Something I said must have made him realize his mistake, he dropped all his defenses immediately "look what I have a problem is you seeing him in the first place, what was it about?"
"It doesn't matter, what matters is I don't want this marriage Ajeay, please call off the wedding"
His eyes widen in disbelief, his face showed clear confusion "kaiiii !!!! Haba! Ai ba zai yuwu ba"
"Dan Allah kayi hakuri ka kyale ni, I don't want to marry you. Call it off because you were the one who insisted on the wedding in the first place"
He opened his door "if you want the wedding canceled, call it off yourself" he got into his car, "you want to go back to him? Is that it? Wanda bai san darajar ki ba? A man that single handedly strung you along till he got married" I had to move away when he was driving off.
What do I do now??? When I am triggered it is hard to get self control, Abdulmaleek just has a way of bringing it out of me. I called him and he picked up almost immediately "He won't call it off, Daddy won't take it from me, my best chance was Ajeay doing it and he won't"
"Well hello there, you're calling ME now?" He asked casually, he sounded pleased.
"It's not like you're giving me a choice" in that moment all my emotions are jammed up, anger, disappointment, name it. He seemed to be happy and cheerful while I stand here confusion.
"Baby girl, you had a choice, now! Do you need me to help?"
"What like you're going help me do something you're forcing me to do? Sure please, I would love that." My eyes rolled on their own, the irony of it all was just much.
He laughed hard through the phone "I'm glad you pick up real fast, well don't worry I'll help"
My eyes just keep rolling on their own, I hung up immediately he said that, and he called back immediately after "ya kike kashe min waya Tahira?"
Have you ever felt the pain of steam coming out of a boiling kettle? I felt as though my heart was subjected to that torture. I swallowed my pride to give him what he wanted, of course he had me exactly where he wanted, in his hands..! "Oh sorry your highness, na fa manta da sarauta nake magana... da girman kujerar ka, zan iya kashe wayar?"
"Not before telling me 'sai anjima' sweetness" He replied cheerfully.
"Toh sai anjima your Kingness, a dunga hakuri da mu"
"Toh sai anjima, soon to be my bride" he replied, then he hung up.
If fear was a gift, then the anxiety this situation was giving me would be the largest present i had all year. But it wasn't, it was this sad combination of worry and fear consuming my inner peace.
