Just Can't Let Her Go

Suicide or some shit.

Izzy

"Yes mom, I'm alright."

"Are you sure honey?"

"Yes I'm sure. Now will you please let me close the door? I'm not going to commit suicide or some shit."

My mother's lips parted, probably to scold me for abusing or tell me off for coming home from school early but I shut my bedroom door in her face.

Tears brimmed my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

Why the hell would I cry over a stupid little girl?

But she's not stupid.

She's far from perfection and she doesn't deserve shit, my mind argued back.

But she's amazing. Far from perfect, but so am I. And man does she deserve shit.

And let's face it, she wasn't the only reason I sat locked in my room with nothing but a taco in my grumbling stomach.

It was the fact that I was falling for someone who didn't want anything to do with me. It was a terrible feeling, knowing that the guy you like doesn't like you back, but your best friend.

I'm glad my train of thoughts was interrupted by my cell phone blaring its ringtone.

"Hello?" I said to the stranger on the other side.

"Is this Izzy Vendora's phone? It's her Drama sir speaking."

"Oh. Yes sir."

"I noticed you bunked school again?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling so good and-"

"And you didn't bother telling me?"

I stayed silent.

"If it weren't for some other students bunking too, I would have punished you for being the only one. But since there are more than three, I'm going to have to call you to school right now and make sure you cover what you missed. And I'm telling you in the nicest way possible, get your ass over here right now."

The teacher hung up and I threw my phone on my bad. I was frustrated. So frustrated. This day has been the worst. And I thought the day I got a zit was.

I knew exactly who the other students were, and I knew exactly what they would say to me.

"I'm sorry Izzy, I didn't know you liked him," they would say.

"I know exactly how you feel." or some shit like that. I've heard these kind of dreaded lines over and over again and I'm so sick and tired. Of course this is going to be a replay of what happened before. How could I be so stupid?

They didn't know how I felt. They didn't have to go through what I did and still am. They don't know anything but my name.

.

To my great surprise again, I was earlier than any of the other students that were supposed to come.

I didn't want everyone to stare at me when I enter the class late. This time, I wanted to be the one ridiculing them with my eyes, sneering at them and whatnot.

What I expected was that I would come to class, read a book or something and show dominance. But this situation I was currently in was rather... awkward.

The ends of my cozy sweater were being pulled and tugged on by my bony fingers and I was biting my lip uncomfortably while the Drama sir sat there on his desk, just staring at me.

What is with this guy?

He was rather young and tall, the Drama Teacher. But even though I would latch onto any guy within 10 feet, thinking about him like that just felt wrong.

I thought. I thought about anything but them. Well, I tried. But I just couldn't get my mind off how much I missed my best friend. And how she didn't even bother to call me.

The teacher continued to stare at me, making a point he was trying to weird me out.

"You know, you're quite the stunner." That awkward moment when your teacher calls you beautiful.

My stomach was churning at his words. He had never been this nice to me. This felt so weird and now I wished I never had ran away and maybe spill my heart out to Ashley. I wish she were here. You know, so we could be creeped out together.

"Err.. thanks?" I said and started to wonder if any other students were actually coming or not. He is my teacher and I know I should not even think of that but if it can happen once, then it can happen twice.

I was looking everywhere but him and just when I heard the squeaking of his chair moving, the door flew open and in came the guy with those smoldering brown eyes.

His hands were in his pockets, and he swiftly walked in without even looking at me and sat a few rows behind me. He was ignoring me? Oh hell no, I was ignoring him.

Just when I took a breath of relief that he didn't make any move, the door clicked open and I made the mistake of looking at who it was. My heart burned at the sight of my best friend and cr- Niall laughing while walking in. He was carrying her bag.

I quickly looked away before they could notice and their laughing ceased when their eyes landed on me.

She was holding his arm.

I slightly turned my head to see Zayn rolling his eyes and clenching the desk tighter and tighter.

As I was moving my head, I caught a glimpse of Ashley shifting and turning towards the seat next to me. Oh hell no.

I purposely turned my head and felt her hand on mine as I started to stand up. I wanted her to talk to me, to show how hurt she was because I was ignoring her.

"Izzy," she whispered.

But that didn't sound like her.