Trust Once Broken | SGA John Sheppard

0.47.0

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It was another hour before Beckett was satisfied with Kai's vitals to go to bed himself. He turned to see John, Teyla, Weir and surprisingly McKay still waiting. "She's stable," he promised them. "Now she just needs rest," his eyes cut to the Colonel who looked half asleep on his feet. "I think you should all get some sleep yourselves."

The others turned to go, but John hadn't moved from his place beside the bed. He was staring at the screen of Kai's vitals where they beeped quietly. Every minute that passed since the transfusion the weak pressure in his chest had grown infinitesimally. He didn't know if it was real what it meant, or if it was just his overtired mind playing tricks on him but it felt incredible. He would have been content to stand there all night. He realized in that moment how convinced he had been that he was feeling Kai die over the last few days.

"Colonel," Beckett's voice was gentle as he stepped up next to the other man. Beckett was sure what it was, but there was something between the normally emotionally elusive Colonel and Kai.

John jolted from his thoughts as though he had just noticed Beckett. He scrubbed at his eyes and shook off his thoughts. "Yeah Doc?"

"You should get some rest Colonel," Beckett advised kindly.

John knew Beckett was right, but there was a part of him that didn't want to leave. The feeling was incredible and he knew if he left now there was a chance it wouldn't come back. Something must have shown on his face because Weir stepped up next to him, her eyes narrowed.

"John," she said briskly. "I would like to have a word with you in my office."

John scrubbed at his face once more and followed Weir out of the infirmary. It was harder to leave her behind than it should have been. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly feeling this way. He wasn't emotional, not ever. He needed to get himself together.

Once they were in the privacy of Elizabeth's office she turned back around to face the Colonel. "Do you want to tell me what in the hell happened on the planet?" she asked sharply.

John frowned at her outburst but didn't rise to it, a sure sign of exactly how tired he really was. "I'll get you a mission report in the morn-" he started to say.

Weir stood up. "No, I mean personally. What happened out there between you and Kai?" Elizabeth didn't mean to sound so accusatory, but there was something going on. John wasn't acting like himself.

John pulled back, scowling at Elizabeth. "Nothing," he snapped defensively.

"Really? Because what happened down in that infirmary didn't look like nothing. You ignored medical advice and a direct order."

John scrubbed at his gritty eyes. "It's been a long ten days. She's a member of my team. I may be feeling a bit punchy," he allowed.

"She's not a member of your team," Elizabeth corrected. "And honestly knowing the two of you were alone together for nearly a week- we were taking bets if you would still be alive at the end of it."

John frowned. "We're both highly trained-"

"I meant that you would kill each other. You two were fighting like cats and dogs before you left and then you were stranded alone for nearly a week. What happened out there?" She asked again only this time it was softer, more gentle.