Neu Roses

Crying Game

Onika's POV
Same day(7:10pm)
Home

She didn't pick me, instead she sent Rih to I assume. It hurt to know that she wouldn't but I know that she's still mad and it's my fault, I cooked the dinner and things but Bey still hasn't come home. August should be on his way soon but i know mostly worried about Beyoncé. I want her here so that we can actually discuss this but I know she won't, these last couple of days have been hurting me. She's been hurting more though, I really did fuck up... I listened to Ariana, Lani, and Chyna which is what she likes to be called.

They said it would be good to give him a chance and when I told them no they said at least be friends with him so I did, and now I'm hear stuck with the feeling I somehow got for him and the ones that I still have for Bey. She's been away from home, and not like coming home while I'm a sleep and leaving before I wake up but I mean not coming at all. I miss her, I miss our relationship that's one of the reasons I asked her to come. I wanted to talk to her afterwards and explain but she won't fucking let me, and today Beys been all in my mind.

I've been calling her and texting her but still nothing and yet, I see how she felt now. I don't even know why I didn't answer, I wasn't mad not anymore at least. I was there just watching it and yet I never picked it up, she didn't deserve what I did and I don't deserve her. I got cold feet while she was gone, I was questioning everything with her. Was our relationship really worth it? Did she really love me? Shit do I really love her, Was the nurse and the others right? I second guessed everything after talking to the girls.

And while she was gone I just did things I'm not proud of, when I went with August I was smoking and drinking and I felt free but still closed in with the fear of her figuring out about it and how she would punish me which actually turn me on more than anything. I looked up from the pot I was making the greens in and checked the time seeing he should be here soon since it's almost eight, but I want Bey to just come through the back door and say anything just anything to me so I can know that I am still alive at least in her eyes since their the only ones I care about seeing me.

"This is all my fucking fault" I spoke to myself "Took you a minute to realize it" I heard from behind me leading me to quickly turn around and look at her. She still had on her clothes from earlier just her hair was a bit messy like she was stressing but her voice was full of venom, I looked down biting my lip. When I looked up she was giving a death and hate filled look "Im sorry" I whispered knowing she could hear me through the thick silence, "Stop saying sorry because you weren't think about being sorry when you were doing it" she said before going up the stairs, I lowered the temp on the greens and followed her up.

"Bey I-"You what Onika? You're sorry?! How many times are you going to say that and still be in this situation..you keep saying your sorry, you could've told me you weren't happy. I would've begged you to, what were you even thinking not answering my calls?!" She expressed as she went into her room" "I don't know" I whispered "You don't know?! YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW?!... So you spent two weeks without talking to me not knowing why?" She semi yelled and I nodded like a dumbass. She came up next to my ear, "You lucky I'm not a completely heartless mothafucka because I would have ruin you and ya little ass relationship, now go make ya boy and yourself plates so you can leave me alone" she growled going back to what she was doing. I stood there before quietly walking out, I just need her to stay so I can see her and she can see me.

I went back downstairs and finished the food before I actually took a quick shower and got dressed, when I got out of my room it was silent. "Bey?" I asked out loud and got no response, I moved downstairs to see her keys were gone and the back door was locked meaning she indeed left. I moved into the getting the dishes and things ready as I got the silverware the realization hit me that she won't be here I sighed to myself before going back to the task at hand.