In The Shadow of Steel (Paladin Danse)

Part Five

"I'm sorry it had to come to this. I thought I'd have a few more years left in me."
I stood beside his bed, his face frail and his body weak. He shouldn't be laying there, parents aren't supposed to outlive their children.
"I wish I could go back and change it all. If only I'd been able to stop them from taking you, from killing your father. We could've been happy."
"Even if you had, they would've tried again, and perhaps in that world I would've lost you as well as father. I wouldn't change anything. My life here in the Institute was crucial to all the work we've progressed upon. I'm certain that in a few years, we will have a breakthrough, which we can share with the Commonwealth, and humanity shall once again prosper."

Shaun jolted harshly as he released a bloody cough. I winced at the sound, the colour of his phlegm. He'd been rapidly deteriorating within the last two weeks, it was hard to say how much longer he'd have left in this world.
I can't believe that with each scientific miracle they've discovered, they've yet to find a cure for cancer.

"Mother, there's something I'd like to ask you," Shaun began, regaining my attention once more.
"Yes?"
"When I die, I'd like for you to become the director of the Institute."
"Me? But I don't know the first thing about how to run it. Besides, won't the Division Heads have an objection towards that?"
"You will learn over time, as did I. And if it is my decision then they must accept it. So, will you do it?"
I thought about it. I thought about my life before the war, the morning the bombs fell. I thought about Nate, and all of the people I'd met along my journey to take back my baby. I thought about how my life had been living here, and I thought about the Commonwealth. The only reason I'd stayed in the Institute all this time was to be with my son again.
And now he lays dying.

"I can't."
"What? Why?"
"This life is not for me, Shaun, it was never meant to be. This place will never be my home like it was yours. I stayed here to be with you, and I can't even have that anymore. I've not spent half the time I should have with you, and these are likely the last moments I ever will. I love you Shaun, so much, but this? It's too difficult for me. We shouldn't be in this situation, and I should be the one to die before you. There's just so much wrong in this world that we are living in, and I can no longer hide behind the façade that we are living like a happy family, when we are so far from one. I can't stay here, not once you're gone, Shaun."
"Mother, please go."
"W-what?"
"I know how you feel, I can see it in the way you look at me. I have never been your son, I was gone the moment they took me from Vault 111. But S9-23, you love him like he truly is your real boy. A part of me lives on in him, so you'll never lose me completely. I know this is hard for you, and you won't want to, but leave now. Take Shaun with you and turn him into the man you would've become of me. I want you to see me in that boy you raise, I don't want you to remember me this way. So please mother, leave the Institute, go and be happy with your son. Just remember, I do love you."

I nodded, it was all I could seem to do. My eyes were flooding as I sobbed, violently. His cold hand felt delicate between my two, as if he were a child again. I wanted to stay with him, as a mother should. But I knew I couldn't. His idea was best. Staying here and watching him die would be too much to bear, and I don't think I could take it.
"I love you too, Shaun. I'll take good care of him, I promise. I'm glad I got to see you, before..."
"There's no need to think that way. The time we spent together was.....refreshing. I'm grateful to admit that it was I who ordered for your cryogenic array to be switched off."
"Y-you got me out of the pod? I assumed it was just a system failure."
"Yes, I always had the hopes that you would find me and I'm pleased that you did."
"Me too," I smiled, my lips tight against my cheeks beneath the saltiness of the tears.
"It's time for us to bid farewell, mother. Thank you for everything." A twinkle in the pair of Shaun's eyes suggested they were too brimming with tears, making this goodbye a whole lot harder.
"Goodbye, Shaun. I love you, I always will. Say hello to your father for me, I know he'll be happy to finally see you again after all this time."
"I'm looking forward to meeting him."