What I Expect

Our Place

I wake up later than normal, thankful I have no classes. It's sunny, but even with natural light Akefia remains asleep. I should leave. Probably, right? Akefia doesn't like me being in here without him, and even thought he is physically present he's asleep. It feels forbidden to have access to this room without him. So I hatch a plan. I'll make him breakfast since he's been nice enough to give me tea and candy.

Akefia's bed is like a single plus half a single - one and a half beds, so although we aren't touching we're close. It's rickety and uncomfy. So I slide out and into the kitchen, sneaking to make sure he doesn't wake up. Akefia's food is in the top cupboard and I figure he'll want some of that instead of my 'gross shakes' so I pull out his breakfast biscuits in packets and arrange them nicely on a plate, brewing some simple tea with milk and sugar to accompany. I carry the tray through, not being quiet enough this time and he stirs as I place the tray on his bedside table.

"Marik..." he groans and makes grabby hands for me. "Bed. Sleepy,"

"Akefia... Breakfast. Awake," I mimic, watching him sit up, eyes squinting and blinking trying to adjust to the light. I dip one of the biscuits in his tea and begin to eat it. The tea is still steaming, and it's so fucking good. I could be addicted to these, they're honey flavoured. I eat a second one while he's still waking up.

"Mine," he snatches the third and dips it in the tea like I did. He eats slower but messier, letting crumbs go everywhere. He does it with the fourth one too. Damn, I wanted it. I'm so much bigger than him, I need more than two breakfast biscuits to survive. "Any plans for today?"

I could ask Mai to do something. "None specific, why?"

"I was thinking of going out. You can come with me if you like," That isn't even a question. I'd love to see what he does outside of this house and uni. I'm still not used to seeing him in more than those places.

"Definitely, sounds great!" I agree hastily, maybe too eagerly. "Where are we going? Museum?" Just a random guess.

"I don't know," he sighs as he speaks, he sounds tired. I should have let him sleep. "I just need to get out this damn house. There's a place - it's a bridge. Wanna come?"

"I- okay," I agree, more hesitantly. A bridge? What's so special about a fucking bridge? Nothing, but a bridge with Akefia sounds promising.

The cold bites us as we walk, even with my coat and scarf. Akefia's hoodie is zipped up, the hood pulled over his ears and a blue hat with ear flaps covers his head. We arrive below an old industrial bridge, staring up through the thick iron beams. It's got train tracks on top of it, for trains to cross Domino River into other areas of New York and nationally. The bridge is held up by 4 thick stone pillars. "Not to be rude but it's fricking freezing. What are we doing here?" I watch my breath steam over my palms.

"Climbing of course," Akefia grins, walking to the stone pillar. He grips a ridge in the stone and hauls his legs into other ridges like it's a rock climbing wall. Eventually he sits atop the pillar, looking down on me from about 10-12 feet up. "Well come on, or are you a pussy?!" He calls down to me.

"Fuck you Akefia!" I call up and run over. I can get myself up on the ridges but I freeze. I'm stuck, helpless. I'm like a mole, used to being underground and burrowing. Not up high and exposed. I feel a grip on my wrist and look up to see Akefia smiling down at me as the wind blows hair against his face. His smile gives me courage and I feel a drive to impress him, so I persevere and with his help, get on the ridge with him. "Well that was fun," I remark, breathless.

"Screw off, we still have to get up to the beams," he tells me, and I gasp in shock when he climbs onto the upper beams and inside the bridge itself, on walkways the builders must have used when constructing this monstrosity. I have to admit, he's impressive and so is this. But it's also scary and I lock up.

My feet freeze to the wood below and my hands grip the railings. I can't move them. I can't move my body, not a muscle. From ahead, Akefia notices and calls. "As you okay Marik?!" He's running back to me, with each heavy footsteps of his boot I envision the wood collapsing below us and plummeting into the river below. It's wide and designed for steel ships. If I fall...

Akefia holds me close to him, gripping one of my arms in his. "Come on, we'll go back the way we came. You've never been this high up before..." he leads me back, after summoning inhuman strength to pry my grip from that railing. Together we persevere back to where we started. It's easy to slide back onto the pillar but it's scarier and more difficult going down a way we came up. I can't see my own footing, and I'm scared I'll put my weight on nothing but sit, fall and break my back. So many dangers out in the open.

"We are safe from the dangers of those above us,"

I blink and suddenly I'm on the ground again. The real ground. I turn and search for Akefia, finding him in my field of vision. "You never told me you couldn't handle heights," he scolds me. "That's reckless. Don't follow me like that again if you're unsure," he warns me, then with a heavy sigh.

"I'm glad you're safe," I tug my coat around myself, an extra layer in case I fall and damage myself. I'm too paranoid now, climbing that bridge sent me spiralling. I need to shock myself out of this.

We recover in a warm Internet cafe sharing earphones and watching My Hero Academia. Akefia pays more attention than me, he tends to get really into the plots and make theories. I just try my best to follow the story and like being surprised at the end. I get bread and hummus, he gets chocolate ice cream. I convince him to try some of mine and he hates it, spits it out like a big drama queen. Oh well.

"Is Melvin gay?" I ask and he gives me a look. What, I'm just excited to be with another gay man. "You don't have to tell me, just asking,"

"He isn't," Akefia tells me. "He's pretty open about being het demisexual. I think religion has a lot to do with that though,"

He's right. There's nothing about anti-homosexuality in the ancient teachings but sex is considered sacred, only to be enjoyed by those with a deep spiritual bond. It makes sense Melvin would feel that way. "And you're just, gay?"

"Yeah, just gay," he laughs. "Cis gay men are boring now aren't we?"

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"Sorry," he smiles and shakes his head. "I've lived in America too long,"

"Yeah, you've been here for 4 years," great, another metaphorical wall for me to smash down. "What are you thinking of doing after your degree?"

"Dunno," he speaks through ice cream. "Probably something to do with bridges. They're interesting to me,"

I don't know what to say in response, since I can't answer my own question. You can't exactly be doing a 1st year psychology major and say you wanna specialise in scientific studies on rats to determine inherent mental illness or whatever it is o actually want to do. "So do you watch porn?"

"Marik!" He hisses. "Fucking stop asking shit like that. It's inappropriate," really? We've talked about intimate stuff before. Okay, I won't ask anymore. That was a bit invasive and specific. I bite my tongue, I'm just so curious about LGBT culture since I haven't really experienced any of it. Then again, Akefia didn't sign up to be my encyclopaedia. I look around the modern architecture of this Internet cafe and realise I could never come here alone. Only with him. Most places are like that for me. Starbucks is for Yūgi and I. Here can be our place!

Or maybe his room is our place. He might not even like this place. Shit, I need to stop getting ahead of myself in our relationship. I try to just do what everyone else is doing and take advantage of the free internet.