What I Expect

The Exams

The day of my first exam finally arrives. I keep thinking of my reward from Akefia, and of how much I've studied. I refresh on the light material I haven't quite grasped fully in the doorway just before entering the hall, awaiting them opening the doors and seating everyone. Since English isn't my first langage, I get extra time and a dictionary, as well as taking these exams in a different hall than the main one. This room has just about 15 other students in it. Some of which are also foreign, but none of whom speak Arabic as far as I can tell. A big clock is projected onto the board in front of us, it's distracting. Especially since I'm close to the front.

Finally, the time to start begins. I fill in the front sheet and open the booklet, revealing the first question:

1a) What ethical considerations would a researcher need to consider if using covert participant observation?

I know this! I might not agree with all these ethical considerations essentially, but I know the answer. Drilled into my head over hours of reading, reciting, rewriting and checking. I could copy it verbatim from the textbook.

Answer: Sociological researchers should abide by professional standards such as the Social Research Council Ethics Guidelines. Conducting research on people who do not know they are being observed may be thought of as unethical and in most cases would be. Sociological researchers should always try to gain the consent of research subjects. This is especially true if the people could be identified from the research. The researcher must carefully consider participant welfare when studying any risk taking behaviours such as drug use.

I smile, I think I've explained that as well as I can. I'm particularly proud of that introductory sentence even if I did partially lift the wording from the textbook. Okay, next question...

The second I leave the exam hall (finishing early, which I usually do) I call Akefia with anticipatory excitement in my voice. No matter how well I've done, I'll always feel the same nervous energy after an important exam. Pick up, dammit! I hear the click, and his voice asking how I did down the line, without even a greeting first. That suits me perfectly.

"Honestly, I have no idea!" I chuckle. "I could have gotten a fail or an A, honestly. I have no idea how I did. But I trust myself to have done well!"

Akefia laughs down the line. "You dissociated, just like I do in exams. Don't worry, I'm sure you did great,"

This becomes a tradition. After my next two exams, during both of which the same thing happens and I can't remember anything that occurred during them, I call Akefia to ramble. It helps release some energy. Sometimes I remember odd things, about how one of the questions didn't turn up in a lecture at all, or how the professor said something that helped me add something interesting to my answer that few people will have included because it wasn't in the official study guides, just a flippant comment I made a note of in a lecture. Akefia usually laughs at me down the line, but it's good natured. He always enjoys listening to me in these phone calls, which can sometimes take the entire walk home, where he's waiting to greet me with open arms.

Once my final exam ends at 12:00 on Tuesday, I throw my cheap pen in the bin upon leaving the hall. I exhale loudly into the open air, letting the stress go along with it. Though it doesn't really leave, that feeling of awaiting the impending exams still very much with me. It'll take a couple of days to wean off of that, I'm so used to counting down the days towards them. My mind just needs to process that I've finished my first years of uni and AM BEGINNING A 4 MONTH HOLIDAY! With my boyfriend.